Scrambles. Rambles.

London

2009-09-25T20:45:00.003+08:00

Since Jasryn demanded an update, well, here I am! Blogging live from London to the world :]

University is good. At first it was quite miserable since I was the only person in my flat but now my flatmates have all moved in, and they're really nice so I'm happy. There are six girls and one boy- yes I know, lucky guy huh? Anyway. The girls are:

Jude >> English girl from Surrey, blonde, very outgoing. Likes to party a lot and is very amusing when drunk. Like a few days ago there was a boat party and she ran up to dance to this one song and then just slipped. Like just slipped on the floor completely randomly. Then on the way back we passed a pole thing and then she did the limbo with the rest of the guys. Doing English and Spanish.

Jorin >> Other Malaysian girl doing law. Seems quite nice and friendly. I hang out with her and this one girl from Hong Kong, Jasamine, a lot. Likes shopping. Went shopping with me, Jasamine, and another friend Joelle (from London) yesterday. Did not buy anything but marked various items that she could wheedle her parents into buying for her. I laughed.

Qandeel >> Pakistani girl but is a British citizen. Doing Biomed so is therefore smart. Accidentally was fed alcohol by Robert (male flatmate) because we didn't know that there was alcohol in balsamic vinegar. Has been eating almost nothing but tea and jaffa cakes since she came here. Also has really nice fashion sense.

Hayley >> Pretty, English girl from Manchester. Seems smart. Gets drunk really easily and goes all wooooooo la la la la laaaaaa when drunk. Is not a natural blonde but we all thought she was. Doesn't mean she's stupid though, in fact she was mentioning that she gets all f;lakdsfas;;;;; about grades. Claims to be a shitty chef but she hasn't burned anything yet... So we shall see.

Chloe >> From Kent which is really not far from here, so is going home for the weekend and is making her mother do her laundry. Lucky her! Like the other girls in our flat, is quite outgoing and friendly. Heck, most- no, all of the girls in our flat are outgoing and friendly. Her room is a complete mess. I wonder why mine isn't yet.

Me >> The awesome one.

And there are a ton of other people that I've met, and the boys in the flat next to ours hang out with the girls in our flat a lot, though I can't say I know them very well cause they're all too busy getting drunk together. The girls in the flat next to ours? One's sweet, lovely, but kinda quiet (Joelle) and the other disappears every morning and leaves a note on the table for them telling them things like:

"I'll be gone, will be back by midnight." And since she leaves at like 7 in the morning nobody has really seen her. I've seen her like... once. Heck people are all calling her different names, like Mary, Annmarie, Marie, nobody is even sure what her name is! Anyway. The boy in our flat is called Robert and I am sure he's kinda confused as to what to do with so many loud, outgoing girls X) Poor him.

People in Law seem nice. There's a girl from Hong Kong called Jasamine that's awesome, we get along really well, so that's great. There are a ton of Singaporeans and quite a lot of Malaysians, which is a good and bad thing I guess.

But I shall try to mingle so I get to meet more people! Even if my closest friends are all Asian I will at least try not to be so cliquish. That's my resolution for the year. :)

By the time-

2009-09-15T06:57:00.003+08:00

By the time most of you read this, I will have left Penang for lands unknown, ready to start a new phase of my life. (No, I did not wake up in the morning to specially do this, I was supposed to do this last night, but after being woken up early by a text message... What the heck, might as well)

And I can't say that the last month hasn't passed in a flurry. What with meeting up with people every other day and talking on the phone as much as I can at night, I'm sure that there are a few people who I forgot to contact, didn't manage to get hold of, or I promised to meet up with but never got around to doing. So, with that, I've got mail. For all of you who I know read this blog, and messages for some of you that don't.

Cheng Yee >> You really didn't need to get that little toy thing for me :] But thanks. It was the sweetest gesture.

Rachel F. >> Ugh I was supposed to phone you last night wasn't I? Was going to call around 10 but then parents went all militant-packing-OMFGNOOOOOOYOU'RELEAVING on me. Have a great time, Roadkill. Come to England if you can.

Xiang >> Someone from your family gave me an accidental call from your Malaysian number a few days ago. I miss you :( And LOL we need to actually get round to writing together someday. We actually do.

Chiang >> ... We'll actually be in the same timezone after this. Why am I even writing a good-bye message to you? Anyway thanks for the memories and for being my punching bag, dude. You won't have seen the last of me. -cracks knuckles-

Darren >> FFFF you're coming over later aren't you? To say good-bye? If you actually bothered to wake up to say bye to me then... thanks. Because it means a lot.

Gummy >> I'll never be able to forget the "HAVE YOU PACKED" even from all the way in the States. So typically Prudy of you, but that's what we all know and love. Keep in touch.

Su >> Orange and blue are opposites on the colour spectrum. And so are we. But thanks for the friendship.

Sara >> -flashes- I think it's my turn to reply to your e-mail. Will do so once I arrive in London. And ffff "I THINK THAT'S CALLED UNI." FFFFFFFFF.

Sarah SC >> Give Mummy a hug for me. Don't run around in circles too much, squares are a much more interesting formation.

Priya >> Eat a lot of keropok lekor while you're out! Enough said, Paradise.

Jasryn >> I just realized I may have forgotten to pack a nail-clipper! Shit I'd better go get one after I write this post. Anyway woman you brought out my bimbotic side like no other. What would I ever have done without you?

Kylie >> Those few days with your camera in my house scared me like no other. Really.

Amy >> This child is sad that she did not get to see more of her Mummy :( But is glad that she will be having a reunion during Christmas. :D

Natassha >> PANTS. PANTS PANTS PANTS.

Alexis >> If you're reading this, means you can also access Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube X) What are you waiting for? Go go go!

Susan >> I know you love Syaoran! -grabs Susan and spins her around-

Joee >> I know you love Yuki! Haha come to CF if you can? :]

Luo Yi >> Make sure you stay safe while you're stationed here... Stupid Alfred. It's not like I wanted to leave you behind. -tsundere face-

Dee >> ... I'm not going to think of you at the airport, cause if I do... I'll cry too. You just have the best way of bringing out the waterworks in me. Dammit. Love?

Jo-Hannah >> Beware. Of. Penguins. ;) You know what I mean. And don't stress yourself out too much. Home is where the heart is and I'm not going to be leaving you that easily.

Jianing >> Bet you're wondering what happened to the dating ad. Like a ninja it will come when you least expect it.

Li Yun >> Next time, this year, let's hope we'll be flying off together. To Heathrow. Try your best. For me. Promise?

Shu Lin >> Heap the gay with loads of torture, specially from your wife and... wife. :) And best friend.

Hai Sherng >> Read message above for what you should prepare yourself to face.

Sheau >> .......... Frick. I don't know what to say. Here's to the years of love, tears, fighting, yelling screaming bitching tantrum-throwing hugging late-night talking David-Cook-fangirling. Here's to the years that are to come. And here's to your really stupid haircut and your unhealthy obsession with Mars Bars. Wait till I buy you ONE MARS BAR for Christmas then you know. Sigh. I love you. NOW SHUT UP. :]

I've come to realize.

2009-09-01T22:51:00.002+08:00

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note completing the 36 "I've come to realize" statements. At the end, choose the friends you want to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want tot know more about you or I knew you way back when and am interested in what life has taught you!

1. I've come to realize that my chest-size. . .
is average.

2. I've come to realize that my job(s). . .
is starting soon.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving alone. . .
I freak out.

4. I've come to realize that I need. . .
to sleep pretty soon.

5. I've come to realize that I have lost. . .
my mind.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when. . .
shit happens.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk. . .
I will be very random.

8. I've come to realize that money. . .
is something I like.

9. I've come to realize that certain people. . .
are just beyond retarded.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always. . .
be a girl.

11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s). . .
are odd.

12. I've come to realize that my mum. . .
isn't perfect.

13. I've come to realize that cell phones. . .
are awesome.

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning. . .
I wanted to sleep some more.

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep. . .
I should have eaten more.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking. . .
about how to answer this stupid tag.

17. I've come to realize that my dad. . .
is not perfect either.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook. . .
I start being random.

19. I've come to realize that today. . .
was retarded.

20. I've come to realize that tonight. . .
I have to call KCL and ask about accommodation.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow. . .
I will be asleep.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to. . .
have some calorie-free instant noodles.

23. I've come to realize that the person most likely to respond to this is. . .
probably Cheng Yee.

24. I've come to realize that life. . .
is pretty awesome if you want it to be.

25. I've come to realize that this weekend. . .
was fun at times, boring at times.

26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset. . .
depends on what kind of upset I am.

27. I've come to realize that my friends. . .
are awesome, but don't know me as well as they think.

28. I've come to realize that this year. . .
is going to bring change.

29. I've come to realize that my ex. . .
doesn't exist.

30. I've come to realize that maybe I should. . .
sleep.

31. I've come to realize that I love. . .
instant noodles.

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand. . .
why people can pull all-nighters.

33. I've come to realize my past. . .
is actually pretty drama-free.

34. I've come to realize that parties. . .
are fun when you laugh at drunk people.

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified. . .
of being terrified.

36. I've come to realize that my life. . .
has been random.

25 secrets.

2009-08-19T23:05:00.002+08:00

I did this tag ages ago, on my old blog. However I read a much more personal version on Jasryn's blog and decided, well heck, why not? At the end of it, comment and tell me what was predictable, what was surprising, and what you wouldn't have guessed at all.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1) I was about to write something here, but I decided that it was something I couldn't share, so I deleted it.

2) On another note, there are many things I thought of that I would write here, but I decided against.

3) People think I'm transparent. I am, but there are things I'd never tell anyone, and they're the things that scare me the most about myself.

4) When I was a kid and a young teenager my uncle used to always tell me I was too trusting and that I was an attention-seeker in an attempt to get me to be less so of both. I remember those talks all too well. As a result, now I worry too much because of my attention-whorish tendencies and that everyone is out to get me.

5) Basically, chances are, if I met you after I turned fifteen or so, I don't totally, completely trust you... No matter how close we are, there will always be that nagging feeling in the back of my head that you hate me, you can't stand me, you don't really want to be with me.

6) I'd prefer hugs to kisses if I had a boyfriend. Hugs make me feel secure.

7) I'm considering not posting this already because I don't know the consequences of revealing all that about myself.

8) Somehow, I don't think most of the facts above would surprise many of you.

9) Sometimes I wish I could merge all my lives together, the life in my old school, the life in my new, and sooner or later my life in college... And then I realize that would be silly. It's best to keep things separate.

10) I'm good at keeping in contact, but since CamTrad it's been harder for me to stay attached to people for long. Not that it's impossible though. It's just harder.

11) Sometimes I wonder whether I'm able to form lasting friendships and then I look around at the people around me, the friends I've made unintentionally and the ones I meant to keep, and I realized that maybe it is possible after all.

12) I've had life good. Very good. And I feel like I don't have the right to complain about it, but I do anyway... Which then makes me feel guilty.

13) I don't believe in miracles. If something good happens it's a really awesome coincidence, or you worked really really hard for it. That's all :]

14) I don't know whether I'm a nice person or not; I can go from pleasant to bitch in less than a second if you piss me off.

15) The worst thing I've ever done? Not said thank you. I still feel guilty for not thanking you that day. I miss you :(

16) It's not that I have something to hide, but sometimes, I don't know how to phrase my thoughts, my feelings into words, so I can't share them with people... It's a lot easier for me to write down what I'm thinking.

17) David Cook has inspired me like no other celebrity has before. I have no idea why I'm so drawn to him, but I am.

18) I wonder whether it's possible for anyone to love me.

19) I have a fear of being alone forever.

20) At the same time, I get very scared by overly-clingy people, even though I can be like that myself.

21) I surprise myself with how cold and distant I can be at times, to people I feel like being cold and distant to. Not because I don't like them but sometimes I do show a different side of myself to the public.

22) My happiness is not a mask. It's just the dominant part of me that I allow to take over my actions and my words.

23) Coolest name for a kid? Luke. Then my husband can say, "Luke, I am your father." However I'll still call my kids Aidan and Nadia because Aidan is Nadia backwards.

24) Li Yun told me to think of her wherever I was, but not in the toilet. So now, every time I take a dump, her name surfaces in my head. Hello Li Yun :]

25) On another note. I use my laptop in the toilet sometimes.

Fingerprints.

2009-08-12T14:47:00.005+08:00

It just occurred to me that I'm leaving very soon.

Like, very soon. As in, I-only-have-one-month-left-with-all-my-people kind of soon. Yes, I know it took a while to sink in, that it took me a while to realize this. But I don't think that it's something you realize until it's late, almost too late for you to say those goodbyes and chase those regrets away. Because there are some things I know that will never be the same, like:

Life in the IB room.

Camwhoring with my people.

The birthday parties.

History lessons.

Cosplaying with my buddies.

Cheryl and MSN almost every night.

Just chilling out.

Sarah and her apples. (This just had to be included)

This idiot and the other idiot. (Can't find a picture of her)

Moments like this.

I don't know what else to say, really. It's just that I never realized this before. I've been chasing a future, chasing my future, chasing the fact that I'm about to grow up. And all of a sudden it hits me that maybe that isn't what I want just yet. Maybe I want some more time.

Frick, I HAVE to make it to Red Box on Friday. Dudes and dudettes, I can't go out on Thursday :( My parents want me to go to some fancy-shmancy dinner, but I promise I'll see you guys a lot before I leave. I've also got to see Ning, Luo Yi, Shin Dee, Li Yun, hopefully Alex if he comes back. And many more of you.

Because, as Katy Perry puts it,

It's my life and I'm not sitting
On the sidelines watching it
Pass me by, I'm leaving you my legacy I
I gotta make my mark, I gotta run it hard
I want you to remember me
I'm leaving my fingerprints
I'm leaving my fingerprints
I'm leaving my fingerprints on you

I'm going to miss everyone so badly they don't know it.

There are certain things and people that can't be replaced.

I don't want to grow up :(

Changes.

2009-07-30T22:55:00.003+08:00

See. There's a difference between the me of today...

And the me from three, four years ago.

It's that the me of today won't bend over backwards-

For anyone's sake.

Because I too have pride. You taught me that. All of you... In small ways, ways you'd never realize. And I suppose this is time for me to thank you for being there whenever I needed.

You made the past few years amazing.

And you've changed me. For the better.

Something I've realized not too long ago.

Rules-

2009-07-26T21:58:00.001+08:00

Are no longer in place.

What's the use of forcing myself to do something that should be done for joy?

I know inspiration has been running dry, but I'll make it somehow. I promise.

Wei Yun

2009-07-25T00:31:00.000+08:00

Is feeling very much better.

Rules.

2009-07-22T22:28:00.003+08:00

1) I will allocate myself two to three hours of writing time every day, each day starting when I wake up and ending when I go to sleep. More, if I feel like it.

2) In those hours of writing time, I will not sleep, check Facebook, update Twitter, read blogs, or do anything else other than write. If I break this rule, I will have to disconnect my internet and leave my room until the two hours are up.

3) If I break Rule 1 more than twice a week, I will restrict myself from RP-ing, going out with friends, and the purchasing of candy.

4) If the first draft of my novel is not AT LEAST halfway finished by the time summer is out, I will not allow myself to have a farewell party before I leave for university, and if it is not halfway finished before London MCM Expo I will not allow myself to go. At all.

5) Writing time should take priority over going out with friends and having a social life in general.

6) If I am feeling too miserable to write, IT IS AN EXCUSE. I AM LYING TO MYSELF.

7) I will produce at least 500 words a day. If I do not, the two-hour rule does not apply- I will at least write until 500 words have been written.

This begins tomorrow. And ends when I leave.

Meh emo post.

2009-07-22T22:20:00.001+08:00

This isn't about anybody. This is about me... And that's the root cause of the problem. Because it's about me and because no matter what I do, it can't be solved.

I'm sick of trying to be happy.

There. End.

Tagged by Cheng Yee.

2009-07-22T21:16:00.002+08:00

1. From now on, you can't tell lies.
You wouldn't know.

2. Are you ready?
For what?

3. Think back six months ago, were you single?
Married to ShuLin Chan -angelic look-

4. What do you carry with you at all times?
Handphone. Seriously.

5. When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
Depends on the situation.

6. How are you feeling?
Kinda bleh really.

7. Is something wrong right now?
... Haha. Ha ha ha. HA HA HA HA HA.

8. Are you mad at someone?
Not really.

9. What's on your mind?
Must write. MUST write. Never mind that I keep getting distracted by the London MCM Expo forums and Facebook and life, but... Novel not progressing. MUST WRITE.

10. Are you jealous of someone right now?
When someone's got everything you wished you had, it's hard not to be. Envious more than jealous I guess?

11. Do you have a piggy bank that's actually shaped like a pig?
Hahaha. Yes. It's fugly though, yellow with colourful spots XD

12. Do you want to start over with anyone?
Not that I can think of.

13. Do you know if anyone likes you?
Not that I can think of.

14. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Not really? Getting better though.

15. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Writing. BLAH-DEE HELL.

16. True love or 1 billion bucks?
Both.

17. Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yes. I said "Please. Stop mocking me."

18. Anything you would change about your life right now?
HA HA HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA.

19. You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?
Kanda's tattoo. Where he has it. Cause it's pretty.

20. Could you cry right now?
No idea.

21. Do you ever think about stuff and start crying?
Yes.

22. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
It depends.

23. Are you okay with the life you live?
Yup. Most of the time.

24. Last person you told a secret to?
Jianing.

25. Do you like hugs?
Very much, especially from baby porcupines.

26. Do you believe true love can conquer anything?
No.

27. When was the last time you cried?
A week ago?

28. How much money did you spend today?
Quite a bit. Buying pajama pants for university.

29. What are you sitting on right now?
A chair.

30. Who's the last person you IM'd?
Film.

31. What's something you really want right now, be honest.
To be able to get rid of this stupid block and finish the blah-dee novel.

32. How do you feel about your hair right now?
I hate it. Still.

33. What did you do yesterday?
Went out! Twice.

34. Would you forgive a friend for telling your biggest secret?
Which friend, and what secret?

35. Is there someone that makes you happy every time you speak with them?
I can't think of anyone like that at the moment. When I'm upset it takes a lot for me to get out of my slump.

36. When's the last time you said you were fine and you really weren't?
Not too long ago?

37. Is someone on your mind right now?
Cheng Yee, for making me do this tag.

38. Whose birthday is coming up?
Jo-Hannah's just passed.

39. Were you happy when you woke up?
".... WHY WAKE ME UP SO EARLY?"

40. What is one emotion you are feeling right now?
Bleh.

41. What's the last thing you ate?
Chocolate.

42. Are you easy to get along with?
With who?

43. Ever cheated on someone?
I have a whole harem of metaphorical lovers. -rolls eyes-

44. Who is the last person to send you a text?
Natassha Choong.

45. What are you currently listening to?
Nothing.

46. My job is done.
Jobless idiot.

I tag whoever wants to do this.

Paparazzi

2009-07-17T15:10:00.007+08:00

Tagged by Jasryn Ng, made famous by the hit song:

"What would Jasryn Ng do if she were here right now? She would kick an ass or two, that's what Jasryn Ng would do!"

But anyway. Irrelevant details instead, I am doing her tag, a few months too late.

1. Please entitle your post 'Paparazzi' or something of the like.
2. Follow the 'pictures of ..... ' as closely as possible. Be creative. No photoshop-ing. If you cannot find a picture for one of the descriptions, scratch it off and replace it with something else.
3. Tag whoever you want to see look funny.

picture of me looking down

"Deleting humanoid data."

picture of me with my mouth open

"WAIT PHOTO WHUT?"

picture of me with my mouth closed

You do not know how hard it was to find a picture with my mouth closed in which I was actually looking at the camera.

picture of me hugging someone

Old, OLD picture... Adela, it's been a year since we last met :(

picture of me acting rocker-ish

LOL I was trying NOT to use cosplay pictures. But oh well. This is the best I can get.

picture of me doing something I shouldn't

... You don't need to know what Hentai means

picture of me looking like a noob

"LOLOLOL HOW DO I GET DOWN"

picture of me looking like an ape

Ahh good times, good times :]

picture of me looking disgusted

Unfortunately, disgusted is not a look I usually wear, so you have to make do with another cosplay pic.

picture of me taking a picture in a mirror

I just wanted an excuse to show this picture off because the colours are so pretty.

picture of me camwhoring with a teacher

The picture says it all...

picture of me praying to the gods of ice cream

Epicness, need I say more :D

I tag:
Cheng Yee (because she will do it anyway)
Adela (because I haven't seen you in ages)
Jianing (because I'm sure your cosplay pictures alone are enough to do this tag)
Chiang (because it would be interesting to see you acting rocker-ish)
Darren (because I like your Goony Char Kway Teow pigeon bait photos)
Jasryn AGAIN (because I'm sure you have even MORE pictures to show off)
Amy (because I am a filial child)
Shu Khoon (because you are so damn cute and I miss you)
Rachel (because I know you secretly want to)
Reno (because just by looking at the Camwhore WHUT thread, I'm sure you'll like this tag)
Prudy (because you're Prudy. Enough said)

HEY BITCHESSSS-

2009-07-17T12:23:00.002+08:00

I'm home.

God, I've missed everyone...

And I have some non-cosplay related good news to come.

I have to settle things and arrange stuff, and not everything is confirmed yet, but something amazing has happened.

The big man up there in the sky likes me now, it seems- or maybe he's mistaken me for someone else after all that dressing up?

I don't know, but I don't care. But one thing's for sure: Again, I've got that reason to smile.

Sorry if I've been a bitch over the past two weeks or so. There are just some things that take a while to get over. But this- well, I'm sure most of you know what this is- overwrites any shit that has happened. This is better than cosplay. This is better than most things that have happened to me before.

And schoolmates! Outing on Sunday. Yes no maybe? I've missed all of you so much.

Cosfest: Day 2

2009-07-14T10:43:00.001+08:00

Guest blogger: Chee Jianing. Guess which lines she added after I was done.

------------------

NOTE: D.GRAY-MAN IS THE SERIES KANDA (Wei Yun on Day 1) AND ALLEN (Jianing on both days) ARE FROM. IN CASE YOU GET TOO CONFUSED.

The next morning, Jianing, Li Yun and I woke up bright and early (9 o' clock is early by our standards) to dress as:

Jianing: Allen Walker version 3

Li Yun: Random girl with Reborn's hat

Me: Suzumiya Haruhi! Told you it was predictable.

Since Li Yun wasn't cosplaying, she helped us with our hair and makeup and stuff.

However she also had some free time, enough to do things like these...

Strange things come out of Kyo's mouth....

That's my toy gramophone by the way. From the two-dollar shop in Singapore. And my lovely new ORANGE Kyo pencil case for when I go to university, god knows where. So anyway we packed up, took a taxi to Downtown East, and then...

I saw a Renamon cosplayer! I don't know about most of you but Digimon was one of my favourite childhood shows. And I absolutely adore her outfit. No idea where he/she got it, but still...

We ran into Alex Louis Armstrong! He was trying to recruit for Y.A.O.I (Young Alchemist Oomph Institution), so I decided to pull a Haruhi and assist him. After all, alchemists aren't exactly normal people, right?

YAOI NOW RECRUITING

You're not an alchemist, but you sure are yaoi. PLUS you have a deformed arm. I APPROVE.

And of course, Jianing started getting photobombed.

Oh and Jeanson couldn't tell she was a girl. Like the name Jianing is very manly...

I didn't as much this day because my costume wasn't as epic, but then I found this:

I SPY, A MIKURU!

A Yuki joined us too. She didn't have her wig on (yet) but still, here's a picture of the three of us.

Yuki left, and I took more pictures with Mikuru. She's so pretty.

And all my photos with just me and her in them look nice. I want to keep in contact with her cause she makes me look good XD Haha just kidding. But seriously both she and Yuki were so nice and if either of you happen to be reading this please drop me a line because I never got to exchange e-mails :(

I had to help Allen put the Timcanpy on her head. We used safety pins :]

And all of a sudden, Potter comes calling us. And so we're like... whut? And then we get dragged to this crew of media people. They ask for someone who can speak Chinese, so I volunteer. I thought it would be like a newspaper Q and A thing right? I was wrong.

They recorded it for... TV.

I don't think I made it onto the short clip in the end.

But god.

Wow.

They then wanted photos of some of the Malaysian cosplayers. We obliged, and:

Of course we also tried to sneak in some product placement, which makes things a lot better:

After which, Jianing got dragged to take random photos with random cosplayers!

I thought he was a pretty good Reno. Oh and he'll be at London Expo, if I make it there what with my stupid grades and all. At least I'll have two people there if I go- him and Alexis. Now I just need to find myself a Maria.

ALEXIS, ARE YOU VOLUNTEERING? :D

We decided that Jianing was getting too photobombed so we decided to run away and go back inside, where we saw Alex Louis Armtrong's Y.A.O.I performance. It was awesome okay. He was singing it to the tune of Y.M.C.A and made it sound so wrong it wasn't even funny. Best part was that after he got off stage, we did the yaoi pose together:

Jianing then got photobombed with the rest of the D.Gray-Man characters on Day 2, which made me kind of wish I had been Kanda on Day 2 but then again, I was special on Day 1 since there weren't as many repeats.

They were okay, but I still miss the D.Gay-group though. They're so retarded and friendly, well except maybe this person:

Kits is..... DELICIOUSSSSSSS

Oh and we took a stalker photo of the Cosfest D.Gray-Man group.

Aren't we epic? This question needs no answer.

Meanwhile I was getting jealous of her being photobombed since I am an attention whore, so I decided to go find Mikuru with Yuki so that the three of us could get an outdoor picture together. And remember this from Day 1?

Think about 872913123082173 times worse. For this one poor girl. So I screamed, Haruhi style, "MIKURU GET AWAY FROM THE FANBOYS!" and somehow ended up getting one picture with her:

We then went with Yuki to take our own private happy shot under the tree. Tried to get the same tree we were sitting under on Day 1 but NOOO, the D.Gray-Man group just had to steal it. Actually come to think of it it might not have been our tree, but a D.Gray-Man tree. So I had to go find myself a Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya tree and the three of us sat down and took a nice PRIVATE photo:

AND THEN WE SAW THIS:

A HUMAN TIMCANPY! Yeah the yellow golem is called Timcanpy in case that's what you're wondering. Anyway of course she and Jianing got photobombed. But gah so cute so cute. Jianing will kill me for saying this but dammit she is adorable lah.

Jianing says: LOLWUT. SPINACH YAY. ECONOMY CLASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.......

Can't beat this in terms of cuteness. though. Or the bird.

Hetalia cosplayers! World conference on beating swine flu. I should have started singing "Blame Canada" since that's something Haruhi MIGHT have done, but the best ideas always come after the events happen. Damn.

We needed to evacuate as we did not want to come into contact with countries like America or England who might pass the virus to us. Then we saw this...

And went back out.

FINALLY, the D.Gray-Man group left OUR tree (MUAHAHAHAHA). So we sat under it and chatted, reminisced about the stupid things we'd been doing, and suddenly someone showed up...
Haruhi and Haruhi! I love this picture. Not as much as I like this picture though:

Or this one:

By then, it was getting late, so all the cosplayers were called into the hall. Alex Louis Armstrong won best cosplayer (no duh) and we were all told to go onto stage to do...

You can't see it very well, but we were doing the Caramelldansen!

And it was fun, in a weird way: how I had gone up to random strangers in outfits and acted like I'd known them for ages, met new people, dressed up, worn make-up and actually managed to not look like a retard for once, and taken on a totally different personality, on Day 1 at least. I wouldn't cosplay everyday cause that would make it less special, and who wants to be photobomed every day anyway? Unless you're Jasryn Ng of course :]

But honestly, anime fans, and cartoon and comic fans, Allen and Haruhi have some advice for you:

Nike should totally hire us to do promotions or something. I mean, COME ON. Are these pictures NOT UBER SUPAAAA.... COOOOLLLLL -shot for use of lame adjective-

And if you don't, Kanda Yu has this to say:

Or maybe I just wanted an excuse to post that picture.

No, the wrath of Kanda is not something to be messed around with.

But then again...

Jojo the bird managed to penetrate through all that ice.

Maybe Kanda likes birds.

Or maybe he was hungry I don't know.

PARAKEETS DONT MAKE GOOD TEMPURA KANDAAAAAA.

NOOOOOOO!!!!

Cosfest: Day 1

2009-07-13T22:28:00.001+08:00

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

Which means that I could have drawn four pictures and written an Extended Essay.

But anyway! I don't really want to write too much. I shall just show you a big fat load of Wei Yun-crossplaying-pictures. And hope your eyes do not fall out from the randomness.

Photos courtesy of Rei Jun Langley (Leng Lui) a.k.a Tan Li Yun. Mostly, anyway.

WARNING: PHOTO-BOMB POST.

The man-skirt is too short and I don't have my gloves, but hey. Wei Yun with long hair. And a semi-scary look on her face. Oh you know I had to act like this character for the whole day? Kanda is a stoic and scary and bitchy...

MAN.

I am just a bitchy girl.

Not easy.

Jianing was Allen Walker. MY Allen. So cute right?

And Li Yun went as a random Yukata girl since we couldn't get the Chomesuke yukata.

Though she seemed to serve as a maid since 1) Shin Dee wasn't around to be Maria and 2) she had to carry our bags because the two of us kept getting photo-bombed like so:

The Singaporean photo-bombing was intense, and so was their cosplaying. Look at this:

Lovely outfits no?

Though this was my favourite, and YES I loved the hair the most.

Ignore me in the picture, my Kanda seems to look more worried than pissed in it. Just look at that girl's top hat! And that outfit! And that hair! And that... EVERYTHING! I want that costume. I want it so bad even though I haven't even watched Kuroshitsuji.

I want to watch it now because of that costume okay. SO NICE.

Okay, to make up for my fail in that picture, I'll show you better pictures of my Kanda. Not as hot as the original but at least I tried.

Of course the three of us are made of awesome, so we needed to take a photo of the awesome threesome together:

Now, enough about me and Jianing and Li Yun, epic as we are. On to the other cosplayers!

Jasdebi. Good, but the Jasdebi from the D.Gray-Man cosplay group at CF 2008 will always have a special place in my heart.

Riku! Didn't want to ask how he/she (yes this was another crossplay) managed to see through the blindfold, but oh well.

Stitch!

Hikaru and Kaoru. So cute no?

Oh, the Kaoru was named Sheau Ying. When I found out I was like... LOL that's almost the same as my little sister's name! Heh and SY I also bought you an awesome hat. You'll see it when you get back but here it is:

... No actually I can't be bothered to post a picture. :]

More cosplays!

Hetalia! Didn't get any photos of the major characters though, which was depressing. I saw an American and an England and got all excited but I never got to actually ask them to pose for me. Pity. Though I got to pose with China, who is also on my "might-cosplay" list:

Back to the other cosplayers.

Jeanson is this Kamen Raida?

Call me slow, but I COULDN'T TELL THAT THIS WAS A GUY!

So basically Day 1 of Cosfest was us walking around getting photo-bombed and joining in the photo-bombing. Until this little boy asked me to pose for him. Next thing I knew, his friend was like...

Friend: Hey! You know, my friend couldn't tell you were really a girl?
Me: -secretly pleased as it meant that my cosplay was good but did the scary eyes anyway- I'm going to slay you.

And next thing I knew, the little boy put this on my sword:

Allen Walker approved, even if Kanda Yu did not:

We ran into Hikaru and Kaoru at Burger King later on! When Allen asked them why they were eating commoner food, they just replied that they had followed a friend here. And we took a photo next to this one sign:

And since it was hot, our hair tended to get messed up. And we had to drink a LOT. So here's MORE product placement time:

Pink Dolphin Calcium!

Coke Zero! (How else does Kanda manage to stay so slim in the entire series?)

GATSBY! Seriously that stuff is amazing okay.

So basically by about 6 o' clock we were pretty wiped out... Imagine having to wear a pleather outfit in the burning Singapore sun, and walking around for hours like that, and wearing an undershirt to boot. And poor Jianing had a wig but at least she didn't have to do several things I had to do, including getting extensions and other things I can't be bothered to mention here.

The observant might notice though. Especially my female friends- that means you, Jas, and Su the Convoluted.

And now I shall go to bed, and you will wait for tomorrow for Day 2. Or roll your eyes at my stupidity.

P.S: I'm sure all of you were wondering how I managed to stay stoic and Kanda-like throughout the whole day. The answer is, I didn't always. There are a few out-of-character photos of me, taken when other people were out of the way. However, I'm not going to post them in case people see them and are like LOL cosplay fail. If you want them, you've got to ask for them. Some are hilarious. None of them are anything Kanda would ever do.

Cosfest: PREVIEW

2009-07-12T23:34:00.006+08:00

Take my advice first, post will come later.

Reflection.

2009-07-10T06:57:00.003+08:00

It seems as if I have been emo-ing lately.

Okay, maybe that's an understatement... But I leave for Singapore with Jianing and Li Yun in a few minutes. May or may not post about our epic adventures there depending on how I feel about them. What you will see, though, are photos on Facebook, and posts including some about us being high on sugar.

For those of you that have e-mailed or commented, thanks so much. You don't know how much I've needed this. And for those of you that haven't, I want one million dollars at my doorstep tomorrow morning, along with a few bars of Cherry Ripe. Deliverable to Lim Wei Yun, and if a Mr. Klar tries to steal them from you bribe him with a few episodes of Axis Powers Hetalia.

... I just realized that he'll be able to read this. My blog, I mean, seeing as how all my posts get imported into my Facebook notes. But oh well. Err. Hello if you're reading this?

Oh well. Doesn't matter so much. For the moment, hasta la vista, don't miss me too much, yadda yadda yadda. I laughed two days ago, and am smiling now. There isn't any point in my moping around. All I can do is transform my sadness into proactivity, appeal to the universities, and hope for the best. And continue writing, posting, talking to people, going on with life as usual. Prudy, much as I hate to admit it, is right:

Hello!

Since you check your emails obsessively, I think you'll get this. But if you don't want to read any sort of "cheering up" emails yet, then please ignore this until you want to.

I don't think anything I saw anytime soon will make you feel better. But time will. Time heals all wounds. Its been a few days, and we're all coming to terms with what we've done to ourselves. Whatever it is, I just wanted you to know that nothing is over until you admit defeat. I understand you think its horrible, but its not. The event has passed. I hope you know that there is only one way - forward. You didn't fall on your back. Its not broken. Nothing like a little treatment to heal it. I think its pretty obvious, but life is filled with ups and downs (believe me, I've had my fair share of those), but its that we find solutions and keep looking forward, and never letting it prevent us from living our lives the way we WANT it to be led, the way it should be led.

You have time and youth. The possibilities are out there. Whether it is appealing, Australia or whatever, there are always options. Good luck.

To live in the past for too long, we become unable to see the paths in our future. It is the future that we should look to. So I dunno how you'll take this, but no matter how many times you refresh, it stays the same. You can't change the past. You can change the future.

Refresh.

2009-07-09T00:53:00.002+08:00

Every night, I log onto the IB results site to see whether a miracle has happened... And I see it, see the two numbers there. 37. 37. So close, yet so far.

Refresh.

Refresh is all I can do.

Refresh, pray, hope for the best.

I reply to conversations. I dot my chats with smiley faces and "haha"s and "lol"s. I go out with friends and have a good time. I check my e-mail and Facebook obsessively, just like I used to. But what people don't know is that I always have one more tab open...

Refresh.

Refresh.

I've been inactive for too long, so I log in again. I reply, I read mails, I talk on the phone. Maybe I go play Disgaea for a bit. Then I return to the computer, look at the website, and click that button on the top...

Refresh.

Because I wish that's what I could have done for the past two years... Reload, and hope that this time, the data comes out right.

Yes let me be depressive

2009-07-07T16:32:00.005+08:00

Witness.

Do you realize what this means? I might not be able to go to London thanks to one. stupid. point. I needed 38, was predicted 41, and got 37. This is beyond horrible. I don't know what I'm writing. I'm only putting this up on my blog because I can't face having to tell people individually. I missed my offer. I was given a chance to reach for the moon and instead of falling to the stars, I fell on hard cold stone. My back's broken and my body aches and I don't know if I have the strength to climb up again.

Blog hiatus.

Writing hiatus.

Facebook spam hiatus.

Life hiatus.

I need something good to happen to me. Like, now.

Tell me: do dreams really come true? Because I don't think I believe in wishing any more.

Results.

2009-07-06T16:42:00.003+08:00

In a few hours' time... I will know what results I got for the International Baccalaurate diploma, otherwise known as IB or International Bullshit to the angry masses.

Looking back, I really can't believe it's been two years: two years since I started this course. Two years since I threw away the tree outfit and donned the black and white, two years since I sold away my freedom for sweat and tears and blood and a double-digit number that has yet to appear. And I suppose, in those two years, I've grown; grown from a stupid little kid to a stupid big kid.

I've bitched and joked and worked and prayed. I've learned some of life's most valuable lessons and gotten to know some of the best people. I've laughed and cried and screamed and yelled, I've learned and thrived and flung books from one side of my room to the other in tears.

And in a few short hours... It will really all be over.

Now, for the masses. Here are some extracts from the posts I wrote in the last year of doing the IB- though they say you never do the IB. The IB does you.

1/9/08: (When the first term of Year 13 started)

THIS IS GETTING TOO FUCKING MUCH.

3/9/08: (When I found out that I had to stay in HL Math because I was predicted a 5, not a 4)

...

I got my predicted grades.

WHY. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.

(is it possible to be both annoyed and happy at the same time? to feel as if people are giving you false hope but then be somewhat pleased that all these people, your parents your teachers your seniors are all telling you you can do it. but you don't know whether they're just trying to inflate your ego so that you don't fall again

and because they're afraid of picking up the pieces.)

9/10/08: (After studying too much Wilfred Owen)

wrapped up in rose-tinted sheets, she lifts her eyelids with a
sigh, gazing into the distance outside her window
and the breaking sun. daytime has arrived, sealing the doors of a
sleepless night shut, marking
the end of a horizon of restless dreams,
winding tapestries with battered seams.

is it too much to ask? no, fat skeleton stares back at her from
her mirror; she needs not have mascara under her eyes
and yet she is snow-white; shot at dawn, wondering
what and why and how
this will be if she stumbles ahead.

24/10/08: (After screwing up my Cambridge interview)

Oh, well.

Throwing away everything you've been working for for the past two years isn't the end of the world!

4/1/09 (... Oh and I got rejected by the way, by a phone call. See what I mean?)

I dreamed that I got rejected.

Now, we shall apply the same logic to this that we have to my other dreams. For the IOC, I dreamed that I would get a certain chapter (but proceed to totally mess it up). In reality, Eveline got that chapter, and she did not mess it up.

Therefore, that means...

Someone else will get a rejection? (Preferably someone on the other side of the world)

Or...

I will get a rejection, but not in the form of a letter. Possibly an e-mail? A phone call? I don't know.

I don't know if I want to know.

11/5/09: (During exams)

HEY GUYS
Wei Yun is busy
Wei Yun is stressed
But not doing anything about it
WHY
BECAUSE
SHE IS STUPID!
LOLOLOLOLOL
Do you like rabbits? I like rabbits

... It seems like my mental state just went downhill, didn't it?

Making up for lack of updates...

2009-07-04T15:32:00.004+08:00

With another tag. Stolen shamelessly from Antarnis.

1. This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
- Yes.

2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
- Tan. Mrs. Cheryl Tan.

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
- Sort of? Haha. I got to play Disgaea 3....?

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
- Mum. -_- Two hours ago.

5. What is the last thing someone bought you?
- Lunch.

6. What’s something that can always make you feel better?
- Hugs.

7. What are you excited for?
- Jianing Tuesday akl;afad;;fskljasdf;asf;sd; ;;;; ARRGH :D :D :D

8. What were you doing yesterday?
- Went to Priya's house for a Bollywood night. Wore one of Priya's mother's dresses and ate lots of Indian food. Put on about 8304723 kilos.

9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
- Mum? Haha.

10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
- Chewing gum.

11. Have a best friend?
- Yes! :]

12. Are you scared to fall in love?
- Quite?

13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
- Yes. Whether all love is permanent, however, is a different matter.

14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
- My sister.

15. What time is it right this second?
- 3:36 p.m.

16. What do you want right now?
- To be able to write something good?

17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
- People, you mean? Haha my friends from school. We took it at Priya's!

18. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?

- Single. Not available for the moment, but who knows? I might meet a Mr. Perfect. And the sky could fall.

19. When was the last time you cried?
- ... I DON'T LOG THESE THINGS.

20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
- Very much so. Though they frustrate me sometimes.

21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
- Much harder than I let on, and much harder than it might seem to most.

22. How fast does your mind change?
- Depends.

23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
- My SOBA girls.

24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
- Yeah.

25. Why do you think so many people cheat?
- Because they want something immediate without putting in the effort, and are willing to use underhanded means to achieve what they want to. In short, because people are assholes.

26. Tell me what's on your mind.
- The weight I need to lose.

27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
- Cosfest! Bon Odori! Harrassing people at Bon Odori! And possibly going to university?

28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
- Haha yes. For drama. Multiple times.

29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
- I don't remember. Two or three days ago.

30. When is your next road trip?
- Next Friday!

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
- Haha yes. I do. Well, almost anything anyway. And no he's not my boyfriend or anything of the sort, in case some people -cough- SHEAU YUN -cough- start to wonder.

32. How's your heart?
- I'm heartless and brainless.

33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
- Yes. Haven't we all?

34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
- If there was someone he'd have to be blind, insane, and deluded. I can't think of anyone I know that's like that.

35. What are you planning on doing after this?
- Do some writing. And chat to Laura.

36. When will your next kiss take place?
- ~~Next time I meet Shu Lin~~ I mean, no idea.

37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
- Nope. Haha. But I love all of you?

38. Who do you not get along with?
- People who don't get along with me.

39. What does your 3rd recent text say?
- Sarah SC asking me to go to some Wawasan Open University thing.

40. What are you wearing right now?
- White tee, brown long pants.

41. Are you wasting your time on the person you like?
- This is assuming that there's someone I like. Which there is not.

42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
- I want some now! :] But no it was about two months ago. Sigh.

43. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
- Boy: Aidan
- Girl: Nadia

I'm going to name my kids that. Because Aidan is Nadia spelled backwards.

44. How did you feel when you woke up?
- Sleepy! Haha.

45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
- Haha errr, not really?

46. Do you crack your knuckles?
- Yes, from time to time.

47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
- Watching Bride and Prejudice at Priya's.

48. What are your LEGAL initials?
- LWY.

49. Who's the first B in your contacts?
- Benjamin Ong.

50. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
- Some time last night, I think! Being with my friends always makes me smile.

51. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after him/her?
- Of course I do! I couldn't imagine life without her.

52. Last awkward moment?
- Haha errr a while back. I was at dinner with a friend in Singapore. He spat into my food. Silence.

53. Are you afraid of the dark?
- Nope. Though I can be, when I get freaked out by something or someone.

54. Do you have good vision?
- Not very. I wear glasses in school.

55. Have you ever tripped someone?
- Haha oh yes. Several times.

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
- ... I'll tell you about it if I know you well enough. And if it's necessary.

57. Are you Irish?
- My parents met in Ireland. Good enough for you?

58. Do you use chapstick?
- I use lip balm but no, not chapstick.

59. Do you have any scars?
- Yes. Metaphorical and literal.

60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
- Not that I can think of, really.

61. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments?
- I can, sometimes. Depends on whether the moments mattered.

62. Name the last person to text you?
- Sarah SC.

63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
- Haha not NOW. But maybe some time down the line.

64. Can you go in public looking like you do?
- NO! I AM NOT WEARING A HAIRBAND TO COVER MY RETARDED HAIRCUT! MUST NOT GO OUT IN PUBLIC WITHOUT HAIRBAND!

65. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
- Right side.

66. Is it easy for someone to make you smile?
- I don't get this question. It's easy to make me smile in general. However if you're assuming that there's a someone, no there is nobody.

67. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
- Get out of bed.

68. Do you fall for people easily?
- Not really. I think.

69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
- Yes. May Li and Jing Min, last night.

70. Do you miss the way things used to be?
- Sometimes. CamTrad I miss youuuuu.

71. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
- Again, more often than you think.

72. Song you're thinking of right now?
- Love Game, Lady Gaga.

73. Want someone back in your life?
- Haha not really.

74. Will tomorrow be better than today?
- Oh yes. Isn't it always? :]

75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?
- White. DIDN'T I SAY THIS JUST NOW?

76. Has anyone ever sung or played music for you personally?
- Nope. Wouldn't mind though.

77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
- Depends on the kind of lie and who told it?

78. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
- Married to ShuLin Chan? My wife doesn't understand our marriage either :P

79. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
- Au naturale!

80. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
- Everyone who looks at me falls in love with me immediately -shot- On a more serious note, not that I can think of? Oh wait I know. Chris Pine. :D

Haven't really been in the mood for updates. Tags will be answered every few days till blogging mood resumes.

On another note, I got a really retarded haircut. Now how the hell am I supposed to go as Haruhi for Cosfest? Someone (who shall go unnamed lest he finds out I want to murder him slowly) suggested hair-growing serum to inject into my scalp. I however have discovered the use of hairbands, and refuse to go in public without one... Though the yellow ribbon still looks really dumb on my head. Sigh.

Seven days for my hair to grow!!

Back in black, orange, or some variant of the two.

2009-06-30T22:51:00.002+08:00

The title says it all.

I'm back in Penang.

Home sweet home.

Post-trip reflection will come later when I'm done gushing about Left 4 Dead, how the only thing I can do well is shoot teammates and the ninety-two times Joey Ng had to save me from the stupid Hunter and Smoker AND the Witch.

Beary cute.

2009-06-28T19:15:00.005+08:00

Today, I went hunting...

For a mascot for the SOBA famiglia.

(To those of you that do not know, you will never find out what the SOBA famiglia is. WHY? Because we are epic. Well, some of you know already but I consider those who do SOBA associates and affiliates. And SOBA is in no way supposed to be mistaken for soba, which is what Kanda Yu always eats and... Oh back to the post.)

Selecting a mascot for us was not an easy task. There were several pets that I considered:

Alas none were badass enough. There were also some pets that I immediately rejected:

Nevertheless, I was finally able to select a pet that was sufficiently badass for a badass family like ours. In fact, it was so badass, I had to keep it in its cage.

Nevertheless, it has now been trained, and we, the SOBA family, now have a mascot. Meet...

Sobear!

(Geddit? Soba... Sobear... Yeah.)

It was born on the 28th of June, 2009 and is 38 centimetres tall and 244 grams light. Its birth certificate states that it belongs to be, however I had to use just my name as a ruse so that we could smuggle something as badass as it back home.

Beware of its badass jacket, it might set you on fire.

And for those of you that are not in SOBA, I hope that the retardedness of this post did not scare you away. God I miss being this retarded with a group of people. When I'm being retarded alone people just give my funny looks. At least there is strength (or stupidity?) in numbers.

Jianing's coming back soon, and I can't wait! I am excited as anything. :] God I miss all of you. Sometimes I wonder, like most people in my situation would have, what would have happened if I hadn't transferred out? What would have happened if I had stayed where I was? And I keep thinking and thinking and thinking and...

Why the hell does it matter, we're still close as ever.

In place of the rant that was supposed to be here.

2009-06-27T12:25:00.004+08:00

To be very frank, I am not by nature a nice person. Only by nurture am I a sweet and caring girl.

And sometimes I get tired of having to be tactful, having to take care of peoples' feelings, having to be all oh it's okay never mind I'm not angry when all I wanted to do was blow up in someone's face.

Maybe it's something to do with the fact that it takes a lot for me to trust a lot of you.

Because what if I want my pride too? What if I'm too afraid to admit to myself that things affect me more than I wish they would... And that I'm just a sad and vulnerable kid deep down?

It was an innocent mistake and I will not elaborate on it any further; if you're one of the people involved please come to me and I will tell you my side of the story. If you aren't, please do not approach me about this- unless you're one of the people who know that I will share this anecdote with. You know who you are, you know who I can say these things to.

Yes, person involved, this is an apology: please take it as such. It is a sincere apology that comes from the bottom of my heart, and I hope for your forgiveness. I'd like it to end here now, but then again, whether it ends or not would totally and wholly depend on whether you forgive me and whether you can actually take it in you to trust me again.

As I said, no ill intentions were involved, and it is up to you as to whether I am to believed.

Art.

2009-06-26T19:15:00.003+08:00

I'm not an artist. I've never been an artist.

I tried drawing once; I was fourteen, competitive, and wanted to be talented in some way or other. But now I've learned. I can't paint to save my life, don't know the difference between chrome and ocher, and my attempts at drawing a straight line in Paint resulted in a bunch of squiggles that looked nothing like what I initially intended them to be.

Yet every time I pass by this art store in Singapore, I always feel this irresistible tug. I walk in and smell the turpentine, touch the woods, test the pencils and play with the scissors. I understand why this place, like many other art stores around the world, might seem like heaven to the gifted few- stepping into an art store is stepping into a land of creation, a land of tools and machines designed to make one person's dream come true.

The copic section is my favourite. When I glance across at the copic markers, there isn't just "orange", there's coral and chrome orange and all sorts of other lights and darks, all sorts of tones that call out to me. There are times where I think of buying copics, just so I can see them every day just so I would have an excuse to toy with light, toy with the different shades of the rainbow. I realize it would be futile: they would just lie there, unneeded, taken from their purpose of existence and serving as mere ornaments for the amused. After all, in the midst of exchange rates and economical crises, I can't just spend money like this.

So I never do.

What would be the point, anyway?

But I like art stores. It's nice sometimes to walk into a place, know you would never really want anything in it, and stare without being judged or recieving looks that warn you to leave.

Takashimaya is worth visiting for three reasons. Kinokuniya, Mos burger, and the little art shops. In the midst of the brand names and the high-end department store, it's nice to step back and look at more creative, less plastic, and simple.

Fuel for the soul. What would the artist do without art, after all? What would I do without books?

What would we do if our means of escape was snatched away in front of our eyes?

Can you keep a secret?

2009-06-23T22:48:00.003+08:00

Since I'm sure people want to know some gossip about me- fine, not really, but whatever. Forty secrets. Or not-so-secrets. Enjoy.

1.) Have you ever been asked out?
Haven't we all? "Eh, want to go to Gurney tomorrow ar?"

2.) Where was your default picture taken?
The Facebook one? Ichibanzai '09 <3

3.) What's your middle name?
None.

4.) Your current relationship status?
Married to ShuLin Chan

5.) Does your crush like you back?
If I crushed something it would be dead.

6.) What is your current mood?
Happy because someone will play Quelf with me! :D

7.) What color of underwear are you wearing?
I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR TODAYYYY- kidding. Blue.

8.) What color shirt are you wearing?
White with a pink guitar and blue sploshes.

9.) Missing something?
Sanity.

10.) If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?
Make it so that I knew all the answers for my IB exams.

11.) If you must be an animal for one day, what?
A jellyfish :D Swimming in the sea.

12.) Ever had a near death experience?
Almost choked on a piece of lamb when I was 11. I bet you wish I had.

13.) Something you do a lot?
Breathe.

14.) The song stuck in your head?
Self-Inflicted by Katy Perry.

15.) Who did you copy and paste this from?
Dante Margera.

16.) Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Allie Polari from CamTrad.

17.) When was the last time you cried?
I have no idea, really. I don't log these things.

18.) Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
... As one of the mice in Cinderella. UGH.

19.) If you could have one super power what would it be?
To be able to know all the answers in exams.

20.) What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
That they have two eyes one nose and one mouth.

21.) What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Mango Tea Frappucino thing or a mocha.

22.) What's your biggest secret?
I am an orange gummy bear.

23.) Favorite color?
I like orange.

24.) Do you still watch kiddie movies or tv shows?
Spongebob is your daddy.

25.) What's on your walls?
Wall-spam battles.

26.) What are you?
Orange gummy bear :D

27.) Do you speak any other language?
Chinese, Malay, WeiYun-ese, Gooben Shmoogen.

28.) What's your favorite smell?
Frying garlic.

29.) Describe your life in one word.
Random.

30.) Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Nope.

31.) What are you thinking about right now?
How to get a copy of Quelf. I have now recruited two potential players :D

33.) What should you be doing?
Figuring how to not have to add my aunt on Facebook.

34.) Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
No idea really. I'm happy right now.

35.) How often do u talk to God?
I talk to myself all the time.

36.) Do you like working in the yard?
I like it when the yard works for me.

37.) If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
Lim.

38.) Do you act differently around the person you like?
I like all my friends :D

39.) What is your natural hair color?
Black.

40.) Who was the last person to make you cry?
I don't remember. Has this been asked before?

... NONE OF THESE ARE REAL SECRETS.

Oh well it is what you will have to be content with.

Love.

2009-06-23T00:09:00.005+08:00

SOMEONE WROTE ME A LOVE POEM TODAY.

I am not even kidding.

I mean, it was kind of unexpected, I guess... I'm not sure I'm really even good enough for the person. It's not every day that an amazing writer, an amazing smart person, someone that's good at everything... I suppose it's not easy to be loved.

I mean. I'm not used to being loved. It's kind of foreign to me. Romance, after all, has never been my strong suit- I've always been watching drama go by, not been in the centre of it, doomed to play a member of the supporting cast for as long as I lived. And I supposed that might have been a good thing?

But no. I'll post the poem now. For all of you to contemplate...

Thank you my newest affair,

RACHEL FONG YEE HSIEN.

how do i think thee awesome ?
let me count the ways?
the way you tell me my hair looks like a pile of hay
the way you make me run out of words to say
and that's because you hold me shocked, most of the time
oh sweet lime
is what i would call you dear
except that i fear
uve already been taken by orange
and a fact thats strange
but i must confess
at the end of the day
its the way you make me say
'I'm awesome!'
that makes me think thee awesome
may our days together always be this troublesome

P.S: How many of you thought it was seriously from a guy?

Explaining Crossplay to Dummies for Dummies

2009-06-21T01:09:00.004+08:00

Last night, my cousin had a dinner at his house, in which he invited his debater friends to come over and eat pizza and Chinese noodles... Only we had to sit at the table for hours at a time, the courses came out one by one, and by the end of it I was just dying to go on the internet and wall-spam someone or other on Facebook. It wasn't that the people were boring, really.

After all, the dinner did spawn one gem. My aunt mentioned that I was going to CosFest in a futile attempt to include me in the conversation- for those of you that don't know, when I'm with a group of people that all know each other, I'm very quiet if I don't know at least two or three of them. This is the most talking I did throughout the entire dinner. Hard to believe, I know, but:

TOPIC: WHAT IS CROSSPLAY?

Ben: So what's crossplay?
Me: Oh! That's when a girl dresses up as a guy character and when a guy dresses up as a girl character. Basically it looks a lot better most of the time when girls do it because guys tend to look funny in girl outfits, and a lot of anime guys are kinda pretty so yeah. Anyway can you imagine someone like RJ in a skirt? I don't want t-
-Everyone is staring at me in a funny funny manner-
Ben: 0_o IS THAT WHAT CROSSPLAY IS?
Me: :D :D YEAH. Haha. It's kind of weird but common, and-
Ms. C: ... You sure?
Me: He asked about crossplay! So anyway-

At which point, Ms. C is like, "He was talking about COSPLAY."

And I commit mental harakiri.

EDIT: If a cosplayer -cough- LUO YI -cough- crossplays as General Cross, does that make her a Cross crossplayer? Or does that make her a crossplaying Cross?

EDIT 2: If Crossburn crossplays... What does that make him?

Singapore!

2009-06-19T22:53:00.005+08:00

Well, this is something not many of you know about but, well, I'm in Singapore right now! Yeah, I know the trip was kind of sudden, but let's just say that I decided to pull something completely bitchy and evil, which was reschedule a trip to Singapore that was originally supposed to be from the 20th to the 24th of June to being from the 18th to the 30th. Just because I was feeling bad.

Admittedly, I hadn't booked tickets yet so there was no worry about flight costs. I'm staying with my aunt so accommodation costs aren't a problem, and my family is really close so there's no argument about troubling people, but well, changing trip details just because I felt depressed? That sounds like something from some rich bitch novel. And I suppose that is the most "spoiled-brat" thing I've ever done. I feel kind of bad now, but let's just say there are reasons I don't want to be in Penang, reasons that most of you would never guess. Escape, for one. Time to think, for another.

And I said that I would stop whining so I shall stop here now.

On another note, Singapore has been good so far. Yesterday I went out and walked around Takashimaya on two hours of sleep. Do you know how long two hours is? Two hours is not one hour. Two hours is very very short. Two hours is what some people manage every day but if I get less than five hours of sleep a day I go cranky. And since I didn't go back to my aunt's house I didn't get to nap, so I was kind of tired and sleepy and running around looking at overpriced things that I knew I could never own and wondering why in the world anyone would fork out a thousand SINGAPOREAN dollars for a shirt. A freaking tank top that I wouldn't have paid fifty RINGGIT for, and was not even orange.

I got kind of bored halfway through staring at clothes so I decided to go down to the food floor and eat free samples, pretend that I was thinking of buying it then running away being the evil little girl that I am. Karma is going to come after me after all the evil shit I have been doing lately like changing trip days and eating free samples and for thinking too much about certain stuff. After eating all the free samples I could, I then went up to the top floor to look at software and computers, and used Facebook on the iMac they were showcasing to talk to Sara and Sarah who I have been talking to unlike the rest of my school friends who were on a ~~desert~~ TROPICAL island called Perhentians. Looking at all the Playstation games and the things like that reminded me of how privileged and deprived Singaporean kids are because they have all this cool technology that we didn't have when we were young, but they can't get the games pirated like we can. Also it reminded me of how I want more games to play, but never mind.

Oh and I had a deep-fried Mars bar at night when my uncle Madam Baby took me out for din dins :] It was heaven personified but also heart disease in tangible edible form. Err, it makes you die of heart disease and go to heaven? Yes I suppose it might make sense that way. Then I went to walk around the shopping mall which was like La-La land though I saw some nice gothic stuff that I probably would never need but I liked, and some nice other stuff. Jianing was saying she wanted girly, so I shall show her girly when we get there. Fun fun! Plus I think she'd want to see Haru's for herself.

Today I saw Cheryl, who hugged Ephraim before me even though she saw me four hours before she saw him. Also I was told (by Ephraim) that I had tacky fashion sense and that I looked and acted like I was sixteen years old. Later I came home and Cheng Yee told me I looked and acted like a sixteen-year-old. I don't know how to react. Either I look young, or I am immature. I think it is the latter because I am an immature brat.

However the best bit of today was the two dollar store in which I bought some epic items such as a nerdy Japanese headband that I shall wear when gaming or studying or doing anything remotely competitive from now on:

Cheryl on the other hand bought some funny eye thingy for two dollars like the kind of thing Prudy McPrudy owns:

Yes it has a face. I think it looks cute. We also tried to put a plastic bag on her head but I shall not post that picture because it was a plastic bag on her head and besides I want to draw a smiley onto it before I post it and I cannot be bothered to load a funny picture program at the moment.

After shopping I went to go LAN gaming for the first time in my life. I played L4D which was fun, but I kept dying because I fail. I blame the fact that I lacked the courage to wear the nerdy Japanese headband for my failure because I did not receive any of its awesome aura. Greg kept blaming Ephraim though which was funny. Poor kid, I blame his fail at gaming on myself because he was probably traumatized when I was like HEY IF YOU NEED A SEME I WILL BE VERY WILLING in the middle of the road. Hopefully he realized I was kidding, because I only seme when I want to seme. Also I only seme my friends. And for those of you who do not know what the word seme means you do not want to know, but I do it in a metaphorical not physical sense.

Lastly. For the anime fans:

I know I'm not as awesome as she is, but do you think there's a chance I could pull her off? Because I really want to cosplay an FMA character. I can't do Roy Mustang because contrary to what a certain Chris Cannon believes I am too female. I can't do Edward because I'm too tall. I can't do Al because I'm too short. (though I may be able to do human!Al) And I cannot do Lust or Sloth or any of the Seven Sins except maybe Gluttony because I do not believe in excess cleavage.

They're selling the costume in Haru's. I have birthday money. Should I...?

Tea for Three

2009-06-19T01:41:00.005+08:00

So, while the rest of The Crew were off at Perhentians and Priya was supposed to be studying for ISAT, Sara, Sarah and I decided that we'd meet for tea last Wednesday. Originally we were thinking E & O but decided against it since we aren't rich enough, Sarah needed to be in Gurney, I couldn't spend too much time there since I was busy, and because of their usage of tea bags.

Which, according to some posh British blogger who Sara pointed out to us, is apparently a henious crime that will result in the end of the world.

I was only kidding about the end of the world bit.

Anyway! We came to a consensus about where we were going to go to eat afternoon tea. While Sarah hunted around Gurney Plaza for rocket (the vegetable not the spaceship missile kind) around 2:30, the lovely Sara came and picked me up and took me to..

It was warm and cozy :] Like the bolster I forgot to bring to Singapore.

So anyway the three of us sat down and Sara wanted to order potato bake and I was thinking, well, how in the world is she going to eat the potato bake if we're already having such a big afternoon tea after lunch? So I managed to convince her not to. Instead, we ordered Darjeeling black tea and a drink called Midnight Kiss because I liked the name and I thought it would help me be ninja since I wasn't supposed to be on the ground floor at 3 in the afternoon.

I liked it because it came in a small cute cup.

Because no outing is complete without a funny Sara Loh picture. Sara is licking Midnight Kiss.

Sarah, being Sarah, ordered a fruit salad and an Americano. I then asked her to flap her arms, and she obliged-

Her fruit salad came and it really wasn't very good, so Sarah proceeded to eat her own apples and pears like she usually does. It's amazing how she manages to eat so many fruit and not turn green or red. If she turned green she would be an alien, and I would be happy because then there would be an explanation for her extraordinary behaviours such as running and studying: not at the same time. So would Sara because Sarah would be green.

If she ate more oranges she would turn orange. I think I'm the only person that wants that for the moment. But never mind, I shall spread propaganda. Meanwhile Sara was staring at photos of her cheese baked potato thingy and kept saying she wanted it, and I was like... yeah you're never going to be able to finish it.

Then the cakes and stuff arrived in a pretty pretty bowl... plate... tier... small building.... thing.

Shut up, I know my vocabulary has gone downhill.

Anyway despite the overall prettiness, the food was okay-ish. I kind of liked the cakes but didn't want to finish them all because I was full and didn't want to force myself, and Sara refused to eat sponge cake. Sarah of course was munching on her 99th pear of the day, or drinking her Americano coffee with extra shots and less water. Who drinks coffee in a tea house?

Only Sarah Ch'ng. For she is just that epic awesome. Oh, meanwhile Sara started talking about ordering her potato bake and I was thinking, well she can order it, I'll try a bit but I don't think that she's going to be able to finish, after all we had lunch already and I'm pretty stuffed. After about a million years this arrived in all its potato-ey and cheesy glory.

Yes the potato bake. Fear it. It's actually pretty good though I was too stuffed to appreciate it fully. Sara meanwhile was devouring it and I was thinking, oh, she won't be this hungry in a short while, we'll probably have to pack it and take it back to her home. She can have it for breakfast and- HOLYSHITDIDSHEJUSTFINISHIT?!

Sara as always looked totally innocent as she nommed the last bits of her food down then toyed with her milk that was actual milk and not creamer. Maybe she works magic on us but I have no idea how she always looks like that. Then Sarah decided to buy two RM 30 teacups and two RM 30 saucers- well actually they cost RM 15 each but the extra money was paying for the satisfaction of her mother's heart. At least that's what I kept reiterating as she decided to buy this:

There was another one but frankly the other one had freaking chickens on it (maybe those chickens ended up in Sara's potato bake and got devoured) and was a tad dark. And besides this one had an orangey hue to it and was pretty. Seriously, guys. How can you resist anything that has an orangey hue to it and is pretty?

Oh, and Priya, once you finish ISAT you can say I Sat for ISAT :D

Ahemmm.

2009-06-19T00:39:00.002+08:00

HELLO.

Some of you may have noticed that this is a new blog for me, and that I've changed blog title more than just a few times. Some of you might have noticed that my URL does not have the word orange in it, which is a miracle. Some of you might also have noticed that I seem to have disappeared from my old blog. Well, here's the announcement. My old blog is dead. Along with all the emo-ness that was inside it. Yay!

... Yes those are crickets chirping. Where's my applause?

But anyway, this is a new blog for me? In a way it also symbolizes a new start- I'm eighteen, I'm epic, it's time for me to kick off my shoes and enjoy life before I jump into the real world. I'm not the best of writers or the best of bloggers, but I'm going to set some resolutions:

1) I will whine less. Because other people have better things to do than listen to about how I'm depressed because the sky wasn't orange enough when I woke up in the morning.

2) I will post more about things that my friends would find interesting instead of using my blog as a rant-space.

3) This blog will be reader-friendly! Which means that I will be able to give this URL to my random acquaintances and not feel embarrassed about it. If I post writing or whatever, I shall be proud.

4) jshakdfdas[fds;;;;;. See this line? Well I resolve to use it less because it is impossible to read.

That is about all for the moment. I shall add links and stuff later on when I feel like adding links and stuff. Also I shall leave comments open as well as a chatbox so that people can spam me, albeit nicely, a la Darren style. Oh I love stealing lines off my Goony friend :]