25 secrets.

I did this tag ages ago, on my old blog. However I read a much more personal version on Jasryn's blog and decided, well heck, why not? At the end of it, comment and tell me what was predictable, what was surprising, and what you wouldn't have guessed at all.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1) I was about to write something here, but I decided that it was something I couldn't share, so I deleted it.

2) On another note, there are many things I thought of that I would write here, but I decided against.

3) People think I'm transparent. I am, but there are things I'd never tell anyone, and they're the things that scare me the most about myself.

4) When I was a kid and a young teenager my uncle used to always tell me I was too trusting and that I was an attention-seeker in an attempt to get me to be less so of both. I remember those talks all too well. As a result, now I worry too much because of my attention-whorish tendencies and that everyone is out to get me.

5) Basically, chances are, if I met you after I turned fifteen or so, I don't totally, completely trust you... No matter how close we are, there will always be that nagging feeling in the back of my head that you hate me, you can't stand me, you don't really want to be with me.

6) I'd prefer hugs to kisses if I had a boyfriend. Hugs make me feel secure.

7) I'm considering not posting this already because I don't know the consequences of revealing all that about myself.

8) Somehow, I don't think most of the facts above would surprise many of you.

9) Sometimes I wish I could merge all my lives together, the life in my old school, the life in my new, and sooner or later my life in college... And then I realize that would be silly. It's best to keep things separate.

10) I'm good at keeping in contact, but since CamTrad it's been harder for me to stay attached to people for long. Not that it's impossible though. It's just harder.

11) Sometimes I wonder whether I'm able to form lasting friendships and then I look around at the people around me, the friends I've made unintentionally and the ones I meant to keep, and I realized that maybe it is possible after all.

12) I've had life good. Very good. And I feel like I don't have the right to complain about it, but I do anyway... Which then makes me feel guilty.

13) I don't believe in miracles. If something good happens it's a really awesome coincidence, or you worked really really hard for it. That's all :]

14) I don't know whether I'm a nice person or not; I can go from pleasant to bitch in less than a second if you piss me off.

15) The worst thing I've ever done? Not said thank you. I still feel guilty for not thanking you that day. I miss you :(

16) It's not that I have something to hide, but sometimes, I don't know how to phrase my thoughts, my feelings into words, so I can't share them with people... It's a lot easier for me to write down what I'm thinking.

17) David Cook has inspired me like no other celebrity has before. I have no idea why I'm so drawn to him, but I am.

18) I wonder whether it's possible for anyone to love me.

19) I have a fear of being alone forever.

20) At the same time, I get very scared by overly-clingy people, even though I can be like that myself.

21) I surprise myself with how cold and distant I can be at times, to people I feel like being cold and distant to. Not because I don't like them but sometimes I do show a different side of myself to the public.

22) My happiness is not a mask. It's just the dominant part of me that I allow to take over my actions and my words.

23) Coolest name for a kid? Luke. Then my husband can say, "Luke, I am your father." However I'll still call my kids Aidan and Nadia because Aidan is Nadia backwards.

24) Li Yun told me to think of her wherever I was, but not in the toilet. So now, every time I take a dump, her name surfaces in my head. Hello Li Yun :]

25) On another note. I use my laptop in the toilet sometimes.