I've come to realize.

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note completing the 36 "I've come to realize" statements. At the end, choose the friends you want to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want tot know more about you or I knew you way back when and am interested in what life has taught you!


1. I've come to realize that my chest-size. . .
is average.

2. I've come to realize that my job(s). . .
is starting soon.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving alone. . .
I freak out.

4. I've come to realize that I need. . .
to sleep pretty soon.

5. I've come to realize that I have lost. . .
my mind.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when. . .
shit happens.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk. . .
I will be very random.

8. I've come to realize that money. . .
is something I like.

9. I've come to realize that certain people. . .
are just beyond retarded.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always. . .
be a girl.

11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s). . .
are odd.

12. I've come to realize that my mum. . .
isn't perfect.

13. I've come to realize that cell phones. . .
are awesome.

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning. . .
I wanted to sleep some more.

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep. . .
I should have eaten more.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking. . .
about how to answer this stupid tag.

17. I've come to realize that my dad. . .
is not perfect either.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook. . .
I start being random.

19. I've come to realize that today. . .
was retarded.

20. I've come to realize that tonight. . .
I have to call KCL and ask about accommodation.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow. . .
I will be asleep.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to. . .
have some calorie-free instant noodles.

23. I've come to realize that the person most likely to respond to this is. . .
probably Cheng Yee.

24. I've come to realize that life. . .
is pretty awesome if you want it to be.

25. I've come to realize that this weekend. . .
was fun at times, boring at times.

26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset. . .
depends on what kind of upset I am.

27. I've come to realize that my friends. . .
are awesome, but don't know me as well as they think.

28. I've come to realize that this year. . .
is going to bring change.

29. I've come to realize that my ex. . .
doesn't exist.

30. I've come to realize that maybe I should. . .
sleep.

31. I've come to realize that I love. . .
instant noodles.

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand. . .
why people can pull all-nighters.

33. I've come to realize my past. . .
is actually pretty drama-free.

34. I've come to realize that parties. . .
are fun when you laugh at drunk people.

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified. . .
of being terrified.

36. I've come to realize that my life. . .
has been random.

25 secrets.

I did this tag ages ago, on my old blog. However I read a much more personal version on Jasryn's blog and decided, well heck, why not? At the end of it, comment and tell me what was predictable, what was surprising, and what you wouldn't have guessed at all.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1) I was about to write something here, but I decided that it was something I couldn't share, so I deleted it.

2) On another note, there are many things I thought of that I would write here, but I decided against.

3) People think I'm transparent. I am, but there are things I'd never tell anyone, and they're the things that scare me the most about myself.

4) When I was a kid and a young teenager my uncle used to always tell me I was too trusting and that I was an attention-seeker in an attempt to get me to be less so of both. I remember those talks all too well. As a result, now I worry too much because of my attention-whorish tendencies and that everyone is out to get me.

5) Basically, chances are, if I met you after I turned fifteen or so, I don't totally, completely trust you... No matter how close we are, there will always be that nagging feeling in the back of my head that you hate me, you can't stand me, you don't really want to be with me.

6) I'd prefer hugs to kisses if I had a boyfriend. Hugs make me feel secure.

7) I'm considering not posting this already because I don't know the consequences of revealing all that about myself.

8) Somehow, I don't think most of the facts above would surprise many of you.

9) Sometimes I wish I could merge all my lives together, the life in my old school, the life in my new, and sooner or later my life in college... And then I realize that would be silly. It's best to keep things separate.

10) I'm good at keeping in contact, but since CamTrad it's been harder for me to stay attached to people for long. Not that it's impossible though. It's just harder.

11) Sometimes I wonder whether I'm able to form lasting friendships and then I look around at the people around me, the friends I've made unintentionally and the ones I meant to keep, and I realized that maybe it is possible after all.

12) I've had life good. Very good. And I feel like I don't have the right to complain about it, but I do anyway... Which then makes me feel guilty.

13) I don't believe in miracles. If something good happens it's a really awesome coincidence, or you worked really really hard for it. That's all :]

14) I don't know whether I'm a nice person or not; I can go from pleasant to bitch in less than a second if you piss me off.

15) The worst thing I've ever done? Not said thank you. I still feel guilty for not thanking you that day. I miss you :(

16) It's not that I have something to hide, but sometimes, I don't know how to phrase my thoughts, my feelings into words, so I can't share them with people... It's a lot easier for me to write down what I'm thinking.

17) David Cook has inspired me like no other celebrity has before. I have no idea why I'm so drawn to him, but I am.

18) I wonder whether it's possible for anyone to love me.

19) I have a fear of being alone forever.

20) At the same time, I get very scared by overly-clingy people, even though I can be like that myself.

21) I surprise myself with how cold and distant I can be at times, to people I feel like being cold and distant to. Not because I don't like them but sometimes I do show a different side of myself to the public.

22) My happiness is not a mask. It's just the dominant part of me that I allow to take over my actions and my words.

23) Coolest name for a kid? Luke. Then my husband can say, "Luke, I am your father." However I'll still call my kids Aidan and Nadia because Aidan is Nadia backwards.

24) Li Yun told me to think of her wherever I was, but not in the toilet. So now, every time I take a dump, her name surfaces in my head. Hello Li Yun :]

25) On another note. I use my laptop in the toilet sometimes.

Tagged by Cheng Yee.

1. From now on, you can't tell lies.
You wouldn't know.

2. Are you ready?
For what?

3. Think back six months ago, were you single?
Married to ShuLin Chan -angelic look-

4. What do you carry with you at all times?
Handphone. Seriously.

5. When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
Depends on the situation.

6. How are you feeling?
Kinda bleh really.

7. Is something wrong right now?
... Haha. Ha ha ha. HA HA HA HA HA.

8. Are you mad at someone?
Not really.

9. What's on your mind?
Must write. MUST write. Never mind that I keep getting distracted by the London MCM Expo forums and Facebook and life, but... Novel not progressing. MUST WRITE.

10. Are you jealous of someone right now?
When someone's got everything you wished you had, it's hard not to be. Envious more than jealous I guess?

11. Do you have a piggy bank that's actually shaped like a pig?
Hahaha. Yes. It's fugly though, yellow with colourful spots XD

12. Do you want to start over with anyone?
Not that I can think of.

13. Do you know if anyone likes you?
Not that I can think of.

14. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Not really? Getting better though.

15. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Writing. BLAH-DEE HELL.

16. True love or 1 billion bucks?
Both.

17. Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yes. I said "Please. Stop mocking me."

18. Anything you would change about your life right now?
HA HA HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA.

19. You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?
Kanda's tattoo. Where he has it. Cause it's pretty.

20. Could you cry right now?
No idea.

21. Do you ever think about stuff and start crying?
Yes.

22. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
It depends.

23. Are you okay with the life you live?
Yup. Most of the time.

24. Last person you told a secret to?
Jianing.

25. Do you like hugs?
Very much, especially from baby porcupines.

26. Do you believe true love can conquer anything?
No.

27. When was the last time you cried?
A week ago?

28. How much money did you spend today?
Quite a bit. Buying pajama pants for university.

29. What are you sitting on right now?
A chair.

30. Who's the last person you IM'd?
Film.

31. What's something you really want right now, be honest.
To be able to get rid of this stupid block and finish the blah-dee novel.

32. How do you feel about your hair right now?
I hate it. Still.

33. What did you do yesterday?
Went out! Twice.

34. Would you forgive a friend for telling your biggest secret?
Which friend, and what secret?

35. Is there someone that makes you happy every time you speak with them?
I can't think of anyone like that at the moment. When I'm upset it takes a lot for me to get out of my slump.

36. When's the last time you said you were fine and you really weren't?
Not too long ago?

37. Is someone on your mind right now?
Cheng Yee, for making me do this tag.

38. Whose birthday is coming up?
Jo-Hannah's just passed.

39. Were you happy when you woke up?
".... WHY WAKE ME UP SO EARLY?"

40. What is one emotion you are feeling right now?
Bleh.

41. What's the last thing you ate?
Chocolate.

42. Are you easy to get along with?
With who?

43. Ever cheated on someone?
I have a whole harem of metaphorical lovers. -rolls eyes-

44. Who is the last person to send you a text?
Natassha Choong.

45. What are you currently listening to?
Nothing.

46. My job is done.
Jobless idiot.

I tag whoever wants to do this.

Paparazzi

Tagged by Jasryn Ng, made famous by the hit song:

"What would Jasryn Ng do if she were here right now? She would kick an ass or two, that's what Jasryn Ng would do!"

But anyway. Irrelevant details instead, I am doing her tag, a few months too late.

1. Please entitle your post 'Paparazzi' or something of the like.
2. Follow the 'pictures of ..... ' as closely as possible. Be creative. No photoshop-ing. If you cannot find a picture for one of the descriptions, scratch it off and replace it with something else.
3. Tag whoever you want to see look funny.

picture of me looking down

"Deleting humanoid data."

picture of me with my mouth open

"WAIT PHOTO WHUT?"

picture of me with my mouth closed

You do not know how hard it was to find a picture with my mouth closed in which I was actually looking at the camera.

picture of me hugging someone

Old, OLD picture... Adela, it's been a year since we last met :(

picture of me acting rocker-ish

LOL I was trying NOT to use cosplay pictures. But oh well. This is the best I can get.

picture of me doing something I shouldn't

... You don't need to know what Hentai means

picture of me looking like a noob

"LOLOLOL HOW DO I GET DOWN"

picture of me looking like an ape

Ahh good times, good times :]

picture of me looking disgusted

Unfortunately, disgusted is not a look I usually wear, so you have to make do with another cosplay pic.

picture of me taking a picture in a mirror

I just wanted an excuse to show this picture off because the colours are so pretty.

picture of me camwhoring with a teacher

The picture says it all...

picture of me praying to the gods of ice cream

Epicness, need I say more :D

I tag:
Cheng Yee (because she will do it anyway)
Adela (because I haven't seen you in ages)
Jianing (because I'm sure your cosplay pictures alone are enough to do this tag)
Chiang (because it would be interesting to see you acting rocker-ish)
Darren (because I like your Goony Char Kway Teow pigeon bait photos)
Jasryn AGAIN (because I'm sure you have even MORE pictures to show off)
Amy (because I am a filial child)
Shu Khoon (because you are so damn cute and I miss you)
Rachel (because I know you secretly want to)
Reno (because just by looking at the Camwhore WHUT thread, I'm sure you'll like this tag)
Prudy (because you're Prudy. Enough said)

Making up for lack of updates...

With another tag. Stolen shamelessly from Antarnis.

1. This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
- Yes.

2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
- Tan. Mrs. Cheryl Tan.

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
- Sort of? Haha. I got to play Disgaea 3....?

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
- Mum. -_- Two hours ago.

5. What is the last thing someone bought you?
- Lunch.

6. What’s something that can always make you feel better?
- Hugs.

7. What are you excited for?
- Jianing Tuesday akl;afad;;fskljasdf;asf;sd; ;;;; ARRGH :D :D :D

8. What were you doing yesterday?
- Went to Priya's house for a Bollywood night. Wore one of Priya's mother's dresses and ate lots of Indian food. Put on about 8304723 kilos.

9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
- Mum? Haha.

10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
- Chewing gum.

11. Have a best friend?
- Yes! :]

12. Are you scared to fall in love?
- Quite?

13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
- Yes. Whether all love is permanent, however, is a different matter.

14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
- My sister.

15. What time is it right this second?
- 3:36 p.m.

16. What do you want right now?
- To be able to write something good?

17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
- People, you mean? Haha my friends from school. We took it at Priya's!

18. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?

- Single. Not available for the moment, but who knows? I might meet a Mr. Perfect. And the sky could fall.

19. When was the last time you cried?
- ... I DON'T LOG THESE THINGS.

20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
- Very much so. Though they frustrate me sometimes.

21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
- Much harder than I let on, and much harder than it might seem to most.

22. How fast does your mind change?
- Depends.

23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
- My SOBA girls.

24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
- Yeah.

25. Why do you think so many people cheat?
- Because they want something immediate without putting in the effort, and are willing to use underhanded means to achieve what they want to. In short, because people are assholes.

26. Tell me what's on your mind.
- The weight I need to lose.

27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
- Cosfest! Bon Odori! Harrassing people at Bon Odori! And possibly going to university?

28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
- Haha yes. For drama. Multiple times.

29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
- I don't remember. Two or three days ago.

30. When is your next road trip?
- Next Friday!

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
- Haha yes. I do. Well, almost anything anyway. And no he's not my boyfriend or anything of the sort, in case some people -cough- SHEAU YUN -cough- start to wonder.

32. How's your heart?
- I'm heartless and brainless.

33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
- Yes. Haven't we all?

34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
- If there was someone he'd have to be blind, insane, and deluded. I can't think of anyone I know that's like that.

35. What are you planning on doing after this?
- Do some writing. And chat to Laura.

36. When will your next kiss take place?
- Next time I meet Shu Lin I mean, no idea.

37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
- Nope. Haha. But I love all of you?

38. Who do you not get along with?
- People who don't get along with me.

39. What does your 3rd recent text say?
- Sarah SC asking me to go to some Wawasan Open University thing.

40. What are you wearing right now?
- White tee, brown long pants.

41. Are you wasting your time on the person you like?
- This is assuming that there's someone I like. Which there is not.

42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
- I want some now! :] But no it was about two months ago. Sigh.

43. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
- Boy: Aidan
- Girl: Nadia

I'm going to name my kids that. Because Aidan is Nadia spelled backwards.

44. How did you feel when you woke up?
- Sleepy! Haha.

45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
- Haha errr, not really?

46. Do you crack your knuckles?
- Yes, from time to time.

47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
- Watching Bride and Prejudice at Priya's.

48. What are your LEGAL initials?
- LWY.

49. Who's the first B in your contacts?
- Benjamin Ong.

50. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
- Some time last night, I think! Being with my friends always makes me smile.

51. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after him/her?
- Of course I do! I couldn't imagine life without her.

52. Last awkward moment?
- Haha errr a while back. I was at dinner with a friend in Singapore. He spat into my food. Silence.

53. Are you afraid of the dark?
- Nope. Though I can be, when I get freaked out by something or someone.

54. Do you have good vision?
- Not very. I wear glasses in school.

55. Have you ever tripped someone?
- Haha oh yes. Several times.

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
- ... I'll tell you about it if I know you well enough. And if it's necessary.

57. Are you Irish?
- My parents met in Ireland. Good enough for you?

58. Do you use chapstick?
- I use lip balm but no, not chapstick.

59. Do you have any scars?
- Yes. Metaphorical and literal.

60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
- Not that I can think of, really.

61. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments?
- I can, sometimes. Depends on whether the moments mattered.

62. Name the last person to text you?
- Sarah SC.

63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
- Haha not NOW. But maybe some time down the line.

64. Can you go in public looking like you do?
- NO! I AM NOT WEARING A HAIRBAND TO COVER MY RETARDED HAIRCUT! MUST NOT GO OUT IN PUBLIC WITHOUT HAIRBAND!

65. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
- Right side.

66. Is it easy for someone to make you smile?
- I don't get this question. It's easy to make me smile in general. However if you're assuming that there's a someone, no there is nobody.

67. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
- Get out of bed.

68. Do you fall for people easily?
- Not really. I think.

69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
- Yes. May Li and Jing Min, last night.

70. Do you miss the way things used to be?
- Sometimes. CamTrad I miss youuuuu.

71. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
- Again, more often than you think.

72. Song you're thinking of right now?
- Love Game, Lady Gaga.

73. Want someone back in your life?
- Haha not really.

74. Will tomorrow be better than today?
- Oh yes. Isn't it always? :]

75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?
- White. DIDN'T I SAY THIS JUST NOW?

76. Has anyone ever sung or played music for you personally?
- Nope. Wouldn't mind though.

77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
- Depends on the kind of lie and who told it?

78. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
- Married to ShuLin Chan? My wife doesn't understand our marriage either :P

79. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
- Au naturale!

80. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
- Everyone who looks at me falls in love with me immediately -shot- On a more serious note, not that I can think of? Oh wait I know. Chris Pine. :D

Haven't really been in the mood for updates. Tags will be answered every few days till blogging mood resumes.

On another note, I got a really retarded haircut. Now how the hell am I supposed to go as Haruhi for Cosfest? Someone (who shall go unnamed lest he finds out I want to murder him slowly) suggested hair-growing serum to inject into my scalp. I however have discovered the use of hairbands, and refuse to go in public without one... Though the yellow ribbon still looks really dumb on my head. Sigh.

Seven days for my hair to grow!!

Can you keep a secret?

Since I'm sure people want to know some gossip about me- fine, not really, but whatever. Forty secrets. Or not-so-secrets. Enjoy.

1.) Have you ever been asked out?
Haven't we all? "Eh, want to go to Gurney tomorrow ar?"

2.) Where was your default picture taken?
The Facebook one? Ichibanzai '09 <3

3.) What's your middle name?
None.

4.) Your current relationship status?
Married to ShuLin Chan

5.) Does your crush like you back?
If I crushed something it would be dead.

6.) What is your current mood?
Happy because someone will play Quelf with me! :D

7.) What color of underwear are you wearing?
I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR TODAYYYY- kidding. Blue.

8.) What color shirt are you wearing?
White with a pink guitar and blue sploshes.

9.) Missing something?
Sanity.

10.) If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?
Make it so that I knew all the answers for my IB exams.

11.) If you must be an animal for one day, what?
A jellyfish :D Swimming in the sea.

12.) Ever had a near death experience?
Almost choked on a piece of lamb when I was 11. I bet you wish I had.

13.) Something you do a lot?
Breathe.

14.) The song stuck in your head?
Self-Inflicted by Katy Perry.

15.) Who did you copy and paste this from?
Dante Margera.

16.) Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Allie Polari from CamTrad.

17.) When was the last time you cried?
I have no idea, really. I don't log these things.

18.) Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
... As one of the mice in Cinderella. UGH.

19.) If you could have one super power what would it be?
To be able to know all the answers in exams.

20.) What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
That they have two eyes one nose and one mouth.

21.) What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Mango Tea Frappucino thing or a mocha.

22.) What's your biggest secret?
I am an orange gummy bear.

23.) Favorite color?
I like orange.

24.) Do you still watch kiddie movies or tv shows?
Spongebob is your daddy.

25.) What's on your walls?
Wall-spam battles.

26.) What are you?
Orange gummy bear :D

27.) Do you speak any other language?
Chinese, Malay, WeiYun-ese, Gooben Shmoogen.

28.) What's your favorite smell?
Frying garlic.

29.) Describe your life in one word.
Random.

30.) Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Nope.

31.) What are you thinking about right now?
How to get a copy of Quelf. I have now recruited two potential players :D

33.) What should you be doing?
Figuring how to not have to add my aunt on Facebook.

34.) Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
No idea really. I'm happy right now.

35.) How often do u talk to God?
I talk to myself all the time.

36.) Do you like working in the yard?
I like it when the yard works for me.

37.) If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
Lim.

38.) Do you act differently around the person you like?
I like all my friends :D

39.) What is your natural hair color?
Black.

40.) Who was the last person to make you cry?
I don't remember. Has this been asked before?

... NONE OF THESE ARE REAL SECRETS.

Oh well it is what you will have to be content with.