25 secrets.

I did this tag ages ago, on my old blog. However I read a much more personal version on Jasryn's blog and decided, well heck, why not? At the end of it, comment and tell me what was predictable, what was surprising, and what you wouldn't have guessed at all.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1) I was about to write something here, but I decided that it was something I couldn't share, so I deleted it.

2) On another note, there are many things I thought of that I would write here, but I decided against.

3) People think I'm transparent. I am, but there are things I'd never tell anyone, and they're the things that scare me the most about myself.

4) When I was a kid and a young teenager my uncle used to always tell me I was too trusting and that I was an attention-seeker in an attempt to get me to be less so of both. I remember those talks all too well. As a result, now I worry too much because of my attention-whorish tendencies and that everyone is out to get me.

5) Basically, chances are, if I met you after I turned fifteen or so, I don't totally, completely trust you... No matter how close we are, there will always be that nagging feeling in the back of my head that you hate me, you can't stand me, you don't really want to be with me.

6) I'd prefer hugs to kisses if I had a boyfriend. Hugs make me feel secure.

7) I'm considering not posting this already because I don't know the consequences of revealing all that about myself.

8) Somehow, I don't think most of the facts above would surprise many of you.

9) Sometimes I wish I could merge all my lives together, the life in my old school, the life in my new, and sooner or later my life in college... And then I realize that would be silly. It's best to keep things separate.

10) I'm good at keeping in contact, but since CamTrad it's been harder for me to stay attached to people for long. Not that it's impossible though. It's just harder.

11) Sometimes I wonder whether I'm able to form lasting friendships and then I look around at the people around me, the friends I've made unintentionally and the ones I meant to keep, and I realized that maybe it is possible after all.

12) I've had life good. Very good. And I feel like I don't have the right to complain about it, but I do anyway... Which then makes me feel guilty.

13) I don't believe in miracles. If something good happens it's a really awesome coincidence, or you worked really really hard for it. That's all :]

14) I don't know whether I'm a nice person or not; I can go from pleasant to bitch in less than a second if you piss me off.

15) The worst thing I've ever done? Not said thank you. I still feel guilty for not thanking you that day. I miss you :(

16) It's not that I have something to hide, but sometimes, I don't know how to phrase my thoughts, my feelings into words, so I can't share them with people... It's a lot easier for me to write down what I'm thinking.

17) David Cook has inspired me like no other celebrity has before. I have no idea why I'm so drawn to him, but I am.

18) I wonder whether it's possible for anyone to love me.

19) I have a fear of being alone forever.

20) At the same time, I get very scared by overly-clingy people, even though I can be like that myself.

21) I surprise myself with how cold and distant I can be at times, to people I feel like being cold and distant to. Not because I don't like them but sometimes I do show a different side of myself to the public.

22) My happiness is not a mask. It's just the dominant part of me that I allow to take over my actions and my words.

23) Coolest name for a kid? Luke. Then my husband can say, "Luke, I am your father." However I'll still call my kids Aidan and Nadia because Aidan is Nadia backwards.

24) Li Yun told me to think of her wherever I was, but not in the toilet. So now, every time I take a dump, her name surfaces in my head. Hello Li Yun :]

25) On another note. I use my laptop in the toilet sometimes.

Cosfest: PREVIEW

Take my advice first, post will come later.

Beary cute.

Today, I went hunting...

For a mascot for the SOBA famiglia.

(To those of you that do not know, you will never find out what the SOBA famiglia is. WHY? Because we are epic. Well, some of you know already but I consider those who do SOBA associates and affiliates. And SOBA is in no way supposed to be mistaken for soba, which is what Kanda Yu always eats and... Oh back to the post.)

Selecting a mascot for us was not an easy task. There were several pets that I considered:





Alas none were badass enough. There were also some pets that I immediately rejected:



Nevertheless, I was finally able to select a pet that was sufficiently badass for a badass family like ours. In fact, it was so badass, I had to keep it in its cage.

Nevertheless, it has now been trained, and we, the SOBA family, now have a mascot. Meet...

Sobear!

(Geddit? Soba... Sobear... Yeah.)

It was born on the 28th of June, 2009 and is 38 centimetres tall and 244 grams light. Its birth certificate states that it belongs to be, however I had to use just my name as a ruse so that we could smuggle something as badass as it back home.

Beware of its badass jacket, it might set you on fire.

And for those of you that are not in SOBA, I hope that the retardedness of this post did not scare you away. God I miss being this retarded with a group of people. When I'm being retarded alone people just give my funny looks. At least there is strength (or stupidity?) in numbers.

Jianing's coming back soon, and I can't wait! I am excited as anything. :] God I miss all of you. Sometimes I wonder, like most people in my situation would have, what would have happened if I hadn't transferred out? What would have happened if I had stayed where I was? And I keep thinking and thinking and thinking and...

Why the hell does it matter, we're still close as ever.

Love.

SOMEONE WROTE ME A LOVE POEM TODAY.

I am not even kidding.

I mean, it was kind of unexpected, I guess... I'm not sure I'm really even good enough for the person. It's not every day that an amazing writer, an amazing smart person, someone that's good at everything... I suppose it's not easy to be loved.

I mean. I'm not used to being loved. It's kind of foreign to me. Romance, after all, has never been my strong suit- I've always been watching drama go by, not been in the centre of it, doomed to play a member of the supporting cast for as long as I lived. And I supposed that might have been a good thing?

But no. I'll post the poem now. For all of you to contemplate...

Thank you my newest affair,

RACHEL FONG YEE HSIEN.

how do i think thee awesome ?
let me count the ways?
the way you tell me my hair looks like a pile of hay
the way you make me run out of words to say
and that's because you hold me shocked, most of the time
oh sweet lime
is what i would call you dear
except that i fear
uve already been taken by orange
and a fact thats strange
but i must confess
at the end of the day
its the way you make me say
'I'm awesome!'
that makes me think thee awesome
may our days together always be this troublesome

P.S: How many of you thought it was seriously from a guy?