Changes.

See. There's a difference between the me of today...


And the me from three, four years ago.


It's that the me of today won't bend over backwards-

For anyone's sake.

Because I too have pride. You taught me that. All of you... In small ways, ways you'd never realize. And I suppose this is time for me to thank you for being there whenever I needed.

You made the past few years amazing.

And you've changed me. For the better.


Something I've realized not too long ago.

Rules-

Are no longer in place.

What's the use of forcing myself to do something that should be done for joy?

I know inspiration has been running dry, but I'll make it somehow. I promise.

Wei Yun

Is feeling very much better.

Rules.

1) I will allocate myself two to three hours of writing time every day, each day starting when I wake up and ending when I go to sleep. More, if I feel like it.

2) In those hours of writing time, I will not sleep, check Facebook, update Twitter, read blogs, or do anything else other than write. If I break this rule, I will have to disconnect my internet and leave my room until the two hours are up.

3) If I break Rule 1 more than twice a week, I will restrict myself from RP-ing, going out with friends, and the purchasing of candy.

4) If the first draft of my novel is not AT LEAST halfway finished by the time summer is out, I will not allow myself to have a farewell party before I leave for university, and if it is not halfway finished before London MCM Expo I will not allow myself to go. At all.

5) Writing time should take priority over going out with friends and having a social life in general.

6) If I am feeling too miserable to write, IT IS AN EXCUSE. I AM LYING TO MYSELF.

7) I will produce at least 500 words a day. If I do not, the two-hour rule does not apply- I will at least write until 500 words have been written.

This begins tomorrow. And ends when I leave.

Meh emo post.

This isn't about anybody. This is about me... And that's the root cause of the problem. Because it's about me and because no matter what I do, it can't be solved.

I'm sick of trying to be happy.

There. End.

Tagged by Cheng Yee.

1. From now on, you can't tell lies.
You wouldn't know.

2. Are you ready?
For what?

3. Think back six months ago, were you single?
Married to ShuLin Chan -angelic look-

4. What do you carry with you at all times?
Handphone. Seriously.

5. When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
Depends on the situation.

6. How are you feeling?
Kinda bleh really.

7. Is something wrong right now?
... Haha. Ha ha ha. HA HA HA HA HA.

8. Are you mad at someone?
Not really.

9. What's on your mind?
Must write. MUST write. Never mind that I keep getting distracted by the London MCM Expo forums and Facebook and life, but... Novel not progressing. MUST WRITE.

10. Are you jealous of someone right now?
When someone's got everything you wished you had, it's hard not to be. Envious more than jealous I guess?

11. Do you have a piggy bank that's actually shaped like a pig?
Hahaha. Yes. It's fugly though, yellow with colourful spots XD

12. Do you want to start over with anyone?
Not that I can think of.

13. Do you know if anyone likes you?
Not that I can think of.

14. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Not really? Getting better though.

15. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Writing. BLAH-DEE HELL.

16. True love or 1 billion bucks?
Both.

17. Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yes. I said "Please. Stop mocking me."

18. Anything you would change about your life right now?
HA HA HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA.

19. You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?
Kanda's tattoo. Where he has it. Cause it's pretty.

20. Could you cry right now?
No idea.

21. Do you ever think about stuff and start crying?
Yes.

22. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
It depends.

23. Are you okay with the life you live?
Yup. Most of the time.

24. Last person you told a secret to?
Jianing.

25. Do you like hugs?
Very much, especially from baby porcupines.

26. Do you believe true love can conquer anything?
No.

27. When was the last time you cried?
A week ago?

28. How much money did you spend today?
Quite a bit. Buying pajama pants for university.

29. What are you sitting on right now?
A chair.

30. Who's the last person you IM'd?
Film.

31. What's something you really want right now, be honest.
To be able to get rid of this stupid block and finish the blah-dee novel.

32. How do you feel about your hair right now?
I hate it. Still.

33. What did you do yesterday?
Went out! Twice.

34. Would you forgive a friend for telling your biggest secret?
Which friend, and what secret?

35. Is there someone that makes you happy every time you speak with them?
I can't think of anyone like that at the moment. When I'm upset it takes a lot for me to get out of my slump.

36. When's the last time you said you were fine and you really weren't?
Not too long ago?

37. Is someone on your mind right now?
Cheng Yee, for making me do this tag.

38. Whose birthday is coming up?
Jo-Hannah's just passed.

39. Were you happy when you woke up?
".... WHY WAKE ME UP SO EARLY?"

40. What is one emotion you are feeling right now?
Bleh.

41. What's the last thing you ate?
Chocolate.

42. Are you easy to get along with?
With who?

43. Ever cheated on someone?
I have a whole harem of metaphorical lovers. -rolls eyes-

44. Who is the last person to send you a text?
Natassha Choong.

45. What are you currently listening to?
Nothing.

46. My job is done.
Jobless idiot.

I tag whoever wants to do this.

Paparazzi

Tagged by Jasryn Ng, made famous by the hit song:

"What would Jasryn Ng do if she were here right now? She would kick an ass or two, that's what Jasryn Ng would do!"

But anyway. Irrelevant details instead, I am doing her tag, a few months too late.

1. Please entitle your post 'Paparazzi' or something of the like.
2. Follow the 'pictures of ..... ' as closely as possible. Be creative. No photoshop-ing. If you cannot find a picture for one of the descriptions, scratch it off and replace it with something else.
3. Tag whoever you want to see look funny.

picture of me looking down

"Deleting humanoid data."

picture of me with my mouth open

"WAIT PHOTO WHUT?"

picture of me with my mouth closed

You do not know how hard it was to find a picture with my mouth closed in which I was actually looking at the camera.

picture of me hugging someone

Old, OLD picture... Adela, it's been a year since we last met :(

picture of me acting rocker-ish

LOL I was trying NOT to use cosplay pictures. But oh well. This is the best I can get.

picture of me doing something I shouldn't

... You don't need to know what Hentai means

picture of me looking like a noob

"LOLOLOL HOW DO I GET DOWN"

picture of me looking like an ape

Ahh good times, good times :]

picture of me looking disgusted

Unfortunately, disgusted is not a look I usually wear, so you have to make do with another cosplay pic.

picture of me taking a picture in a mirror

I just wanted an excuse to show this picture off because the colours are so pretty.

picture of me camwhoring with a teacher

The picture says it all...

picture of me praying to the gods of ice cream

Epicness, need I say more :D

I tag:
Cheng Yee (because she will do it anyway)
Adela (because I haven't seen you in ages)
Jianing (because I'm sure your cosplay pictures alone are enough to do this tag)
Chiang (because it would be interesting to see you acting rocker-ish)
Darren (because I like your Goony Char Kway Teow pigeon bait photos)
Jasryn AGAIN (because I'm sure you have even MORE pictures to show off)
Amy (because I am a filial child)
Shu Khoon (because you are so damn cute and I miss you)
Rachel (because I know you secretly want to)
Reno (because just by looking at the Camwhore WHUT thread, I'm sure you'll like this tag)
Prudy (because you're Prudy. Enough said)

HEY BITCHESSSS-

I'm home.

God, I've missed everyone...


And I have some non-cosplay related good news to come.

I have to settle things and arrange stuff, and not everything is confirmed yet, but something amazing has happened.

The big man up there in the sky likes me now, it seems- or maybe he's mistaken me for someone else after all that dressing up?

I don't know, but I don't care. But one thing's for sure: Again, I've got that reason to smile.

Sorry if I've been a bitch over the past two weeks or so. There are just some things that take a while to get over. But this- well, I'm sure most of you know what this is- overwrites any shit that has happened. This is better than cosplay. This is better than most things that have happened to me before.

And schoolmates! Outing on Sunday. Yes no maybe? I've missed all of you so much.

Cosfest: Day 2

Guest blogger: Chee Jianing. Guess which lines she added after I was done.

------------------

NOTE: D.GRAY-MAN IS THE SERIES KANDA (Wei Yun on Day 1) AND ALLEN (Jianing on both days) ARE FROM. IN CASE YOU GET TOO CONFUSED.

The next morning, Jianing, Li Yun and I woke up bright and early (9 o' clock is early by our standards) to dress as:

Jianing: Allen Walker version 3


Li Yun: Random girl with Reborn's hat


Me: Suzumiya Haruhi! Told you it was predictable.


Since Li Yun wasn't cosplaying, she helped us with our hair and makeup and stuff.


However she also had some free time, enough to do things like these...




Strange things come out of Kyo's mouth....


That's my toy gramophone by the way. From the two-dollar shop in Singapore. And my lovely new ORANGE Kyo pencil case for when I go to university, god knows where. So anyway we packed up, took a taxi to Downtown East, and then...

I saw a Renamon cosplayer! I don't know about most of you but Digimon was one of my favourite childhood shows. And I absolutely adore her outfit. No idea where he/she got it, but still...


We ran into Alex Louis Armstrong! He was trying to recruit for Y.A.O.I (Young Alchemist Oomph Institution), so I decided to pull a Haruhi and assist him. After all, alchemists aren't exactly normal people, right?

YAOI NOW RECRUITING

You're not an alchemist, but you sure are yaoi. PLUS you have a deformed arm. I APPROVE.

And of course, Jianing started getting photobombed.




Oh and Jeanson couldn't tell she was a girl. Like the name Jianing is very manly...

I didn't as much this day because my costume wasn't as epic, but then I found this:


I SPY, A MIKURU!

A Yuki joined us too. She didn't have her wig on (yet) but still, here's a picture of the three of us.


Yuki left, and I took more pictures with Mikuru. She's so pretty.


And all my photos with just me and her in them look nice. I want to keep in contact with her cause she makes me look good XD Haha just kidding. But seriously both she and Yuki were so nice and if either of you happen to be reading this please drop me a line because I never got to exchange e-mails :(

I had to help Allen put the Timcanpy on her head. We used safety pins :]



And all of a sudden, Potter comes calling us. And so we're like... whut? And then we get dragged to this crew of media people. They ask for someone who can speak Chinese, so I volunteer. I thought it would be like a newspaper Q and A thing right? I was wrong.

They recorded it for... TV.

I don't think I made it onto the short clip in the end.

But god.

Wow.

They then wanted photos of some of the Malaysian cosplayers. We obliged, and:

Of course we also tried to sneak in some product placement, which makes things a lot better:

After which, Jianing got dragged to take random photos with random cosplayers!





I thought he was a pretty good Reno. Oh and he'll be at London Expo, if I make it there what with my stupid grades and all. At least I'll have two people there if I go- him and Alexis. Now I just need to find myself a Maria.

ALEXIS, ARE YOU VOLUNTEERING? :D

We decided that Jianing was getting too photobombed so we decided to run away and go back inside, where we saw Alex Louis Armtrong's Y.A.O.I performance. It was awesome okay. He was singing it to the tune of Y.M.C.A and made it sound so wrong it wasn't even funny. Best part was that after he got off stage, we did the yaoi pose together:

Jianing then got photobombed with the rest of the D.Gray-Man characters on Day 2, which made me kind of wish I had been Kanda on Day 2 but then again, I was special on Day 1 since there weren't as many repeats.


They were okay, but I still miss the D.Gay-group though. They're so retarded and friendly, well except maybe this person:

Kits is..... DELICIOUSSSSSSS

Oh and we took a stalker photo of the Cosfest D.Gray-Man group.


Aren't we epic? This question needs no answer.

Meanwhile I was getting jealous of her being photobombed since I am an attention whore, so I decided to go find Mikuru with Yuki so that the three of us could get an outdoor picture together. And remember this from Day 1?

Think about 872913123082173 times worse. For this one poor girl. So I screamed, Haruhi style, "MIKURU GET AWAY FROM THE FANBOYS!" and somehow ended up getting one picture with her:

We then went with Yuki to take our own private happy shot under the tree. Tried to get the same tree we were sitting under on Day 1 but NOOO, the D.Gray-Man group just had to steal it. Actually come to think of it it might not have been our tree, but a D.Gray-Man tree. So I had to go find myself a Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya tree and the three of us sat down and took a nice PRIVATE photo:


AND THEN WE SAW THIS:


A HUMAN TIMCANPY! Yeah the yellow golem is called Timcanpy in case that's what you're wondering. Anyway of course she and Jianing got photobombed. But gah so cute so cute. Jianing will kill me for saying this but dammit she is adorable lah.

Jianing says: LOLWUT. SPINACH YAY. ECONOMY CLASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.......


Can't beat this in terms of cuteness. though. Or the bird.

Hetalia cosplayers! World conference on beating swine flu. I should have started singing "Blame Canada" since that's something Haruhi MIGHT have done, but the best ideas always come after the events happen. Damn.

We needed to evacuate as we did not want to come into contact with countries like America or England who might pass the virus to us. Then we saw this...


And went back out.

FINALLY, the D.Gray-Man group left OUR tree (MUAHAHAHAHA). So we sat under it and chatted, reminisced about the stupid things we'd been doing, and suddenly someone showed up...
Haruhi and Haruhi! I love this picture. Not as much as I like this picture though:

Or this one:


By then, it was getting late, so all the cosplayers were called into the hall. Alex Louis Armstrong won best cosplayer (no duh) and we were all told to go onto stage to do...


You can't see it very well, but we were doing the Caramelldansen!

And it was fun, in a weird way: how I had gone up to random strangers in outfits and acted like I'd known them for ages, met new people, dressed up, worn make-up and actually managed to not look like a retard for once, and taken on a totally different personality, on Day 1 at least. I wouldn't cosplay everyday cause that would make it less special, and who wants to be photobomed every day anyway? Unless you're Jasryn Ng of course :]

But honestly, anime fans, and cartoon and comic fans, Allen and Haruhi have some advice for you:



Nike should totally hire us to do promotions or something. I mean, COME ON. Are these pictures NOT UBER SUPAAAA.... COOOOLLLLL -shot for use of lame adjective-

And if you don't, Kanda Yu has this to say:


Or maybe I just wanted an excuse to post that picture.

No, the wrath of Kanda is not something to be messed around with.

But then again...

Jojo the bird managed to penetrate through all that ice.

Maybe Kanda likes birds.

Or maybe he was hungry I don't know.

PARAKEETS DONT MAKE GOOD TEMPURA KANDAAAAAA.

NOOOOOOO!!!!