By the time-

By the time most of you read this, I will have left Penang for lands unknown, ready to start a new phase of my life. (No, I did not wake up in the morning to specially do this, I was supposed to do this last night, but after being woken up early by a text message... What the heck, might as well)

And I can't say that the last month hasn't passed in a flurry. What with meeting up with people every other day and talking on the phone as much as I can at night, I'm sure that there are a few people who I forgot to contact, didn't manage to get hold of, or I promised to meet up with but never got around to doing. So, with that, I've got mail. For all of you who I know read this blog, and messages for some of you that don't.

Cheng Yee >> You really didn't need to get that little toy thing for me :] But thanks. It was the sweetest gesture.

Rachel F. >> Ugh I was supposed to phone you last night wasn't I? Was going to call around 10 but then parents went all militant-packing-OMFGNOOOOOOYOU'RELEAVING on me. Have a great time, Roadkill. Come to England if you can.

Xiang >> Someone from your family gave me an accidental call from your Malaysian number a few days ago. I miss you :( And LOL we need to actually get round to writing together someday. We actually do.

Chiang >> ... We'll actually be in the same timezone after this. Why am I even writing a good-bye message to you? Anyway thanks for the memories and for being my punching bag, dude. You won't have seen the last of me. -cracks knuckles-

Darren >> FFFF you're coming over later aren't you? To say good-bye? If you actually bothered to wake up to say bye to me then... thanks. Because it means a lot.

Gummy >> I'll never be able to forget the "HAVE YOU PACKED" even from all the way in the States. So typically Prudy of you, but that's what we all know and love. Keep in touch.

Su >> Orange and blue are opposites on the colour spectrum. And so are we. But thanks for the friendship.

Sara >> -flashes- I think it's my turn to reply to your e-mail. Will do so once I arrive in London. And ffff "I THINK THAT'S CALLED UNI." FFFFFFFFF.

Sarah SC >> Give Mummy a hug for me. Don't run around in circles too much, squares are a much more interesting formation.

Priya >> Eat a lot of keropok lekor while you're out! Enough said, Paradise.

Jasryn >> I just realized I may have forgotten to pack a nail-clipper! Shit I'd better go get one after I write this post. Anyway woman you brought out my bimbotic side like no other. What would I ever have done without you?

Kylie >> Those few days with your camera in my house scared me like no other. Really.

Amy >> This child is sad that she did not get to see more of her Mummy :( But is glad that she will be having a reunion during Christmas. :D

Natassha >> PANTS. PANTS PANTS PANTS.

Alexis >> If you're reading this, means you can also access Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube X) What are you waiting for? Go go go!

Susan >> I know you love Syaoran! -grabs Susan and spins her around-

Joee >> I know you love Yuki! Haha come to CF if you can? :]

Luo Yi >> Make sure you stay safe while you're stationed here... Stupid Alfred. It's not like I wanted to leave you behind. -tsundere face-

Dee >> ... I'm not going to think of you at the airport, cause if I do... I'll cry too. You just have the best way of bringing out the waterworks in me. Dammit. Love?

Jo-Hannah >> Beware. Of. Penguins. ;) You know what I mean. And don't stress yourself out too much. Home is where the heart is and I'm not going to be leaving you that easily.

Jianing >> Bet you're wondering what happened to the dating ad. Like a ninja it will come when you least expect it.

Li Yun >> Next time, this year, let's hope we'll be flying off together. To Heathrow. Try your best. For me. Promise?

Shu Lin >> Heap the gay with loads of torture, specially from your wife and... wife. :) And best friend.

Hai Sherng >> Read message above for what you should prepare yourself to face.

Sheau >> .......... Frick. I don't know what to say. Here's to the years of love, tears, fighting, yelling screaming bitching tantrum-throwing hugging late-night talking David-Cook-fangirling. Here's to the years that are to come. And here's to your really stupid haircut and your unhealthy obsession with Mars Bars. Wait till I buy you ONE MARS BAR for Christmas then you know. Sigh. I love you. NOW SHUT UP. :]

Fingerprints.

It just occurred to me that I'm leaving very soon.

Like, very soon. As in, I-only-have-one-month-left-with-all-my-people kind of soon. Yes, I know it took a while to sink in, that it took me a while to realize this. But I don't think that it's something you realize until it's late, almost too late for you to say those goodbyes and chase those regrets away. Because there are some things I know that will never be the same, like:

Life in the IB room.

Camwhoring with my people.

The birthday parties.

History lessons.

Cosplaying with my buddies.

Cheryl and MSN almost every night.

Just chilling out.

Sarah and her apples. (This just had to be included)

This idiot and the other idiot. (Can't find a picture of her)

Moments like this.

I don't know what else to say, really. It's just that I never realized this before. I've been chasing a future, chasing my future, chasing the fact that I'm about to grow up. And all of a sudden it hits me that maybe that isn't what I want just yet. Maybe I want some more time.

Frick, I HAVE to make it to Red Box on Friday. Dudes and dudettes, I can't go out on Thursday :( My parents want me to go to some fancy-shmancy dinner, but I promise I'll see you guys a lot before I leave. I've also got to see Ning, Luo Yi, Shin Dee, Li Yun, hopefully Alex if he comes back. And many more of you.

Because, as Katy Perry puts it,

It's my life and I'm not sitting
On the sidelines watching it
Pass me by, I'm leaving you my legacy I
I gotta make my mark, I gotta run it hard
I want you to remember me
I'm leaving my fingerprints
I'm leaving my fingerprints
I'm leaving my fingerprints on you

I'm going to miss everyone so badly they don't know it.

There are certain things and people that can't be replaced.

I don't want to grow up :(

Refresh.

Every night, I log onto the IB results site to see whether a miracle has happened... And I see it, see the two numbers there. 37. 37. So close, yet so far.

Refresh.

Refresh is all I can do.

Refresh, pray, hope for the best.

I reply to conversations. I dot my chats with smiley faces and "haha"s and "lol"s. I go out with friends and have a good time. I check my e-mail and Facebook obsessively, just like I used to. But what people don't know is that I always have one more tab open...

Refresh.

Refresh.

I've been inactive for too long, so I log in again. I reply, I read mails, I talk on the phone. Maybe I go play Disgaea for a bit. Then I return to the computer, look at the website, and click that button on the top...

Refresh.

Because I wish that's what I could have done for the past two years... Reload, and hope that this time, the data comes out right.

Making up for lack of updates...

With another tag. Stolen shamelessly from Antarnis.

1. This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
- Yes.

2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
- Tan. Mrs. Cheryl Tan.

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
- Sort of? Haha. I got to play Disgaea 3....?

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
- Mum. -_- Two hours ago.

5. What is the last thing someone bought you?
- Lunch.

6. What’s something that can always make you feel better?
- Hugs.

7. What are you excited for?
- Jianing Tuesday akl;afad;;fskljasdf;asf;sd; ;;;; ARRGH :D :D :D

8. What were you doing yesterday?
- Went to Priya's house for a Bollywood night. Wore one of Priya's mother's dresses and ate lots of Indian food. Put on about 8304723 kilos.

9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
- Mum? Haha.

10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
- Chewing gum.

11. Have a best friend?
- Yes! :]

12. Are you scared to fall in love?
- Quite?

13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
- Yes. Whether all love is permanent, however, is a different matter.

14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
- My sister.

15. What time is it right this second?
- 3:36 p.m.

16. What do you want right now?
- To be able to write something good?

17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
- People, you mean? Haha my friends from school. We took it at Priya's!

18. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?

- Single. Not available for the moment, but who knows? I might meet a Mr. Perfect. And the sky could fall.

19. When was the last time you cried?
- ... I DON'T LOG THESE THINGS.

20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
- Very much so. Though they frustrate me sometimes.

21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
- Much harder than I let on, and much harder than it might seem to most.

22. How fast does your mind change?
- Depends.

23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
- My SOBA girls.

24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
- Yeah.

25. Why do you think so many people cheat?
- Because they want something immediate without putting in the effort, and are willing to use underhanded means to achieve what they want to. In short, because people are assholes.

26. Tell me what's on your mind.
- The weight I need to lose.

27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
- Cosfest! Bon Odori! Harrassing people at Bon Odori! And possibly going to university?

28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
- Haha yes. For drama. Multiple times.

29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
- I don't remember. Two or three days ago.

30. When is your next road trip?
- Next Friday!

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
- Haha yes. I do. Well, almost anything anyway. And no he's not my boyfriend or anything of the sort, in case some people -cough- SHEAU YUN -cough- start to wonder.

32. How's your heart?
- I'm heartless and brainless.

33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
- Yes. Haven't we all?

34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
- If there was someone he'd have to be blind, insane, and deluded. I can't think of anyone I know that's like that.

35. What are you planning on doing after this?
- Do some writing. And chat to Laura.

36. When will your next kiss take place?
- Next time I meet Shu Lin I mean, no idea.

37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
- Nope. Haha. But I love all of you?

38. Who do you not get along with?
- People who don't get along with me.

39. What does your 3rd recent text say?
- Sarah SC asking me to go to some Wawasan Open University thing.

40. What are you wearing right now?
- White tee, brown long pants.

41. Are you wasting your time on the person you like?
- This is assuming that there's someone I like. Which there is not.

42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
- I want some now! :] But no it was about two months ago. Sigh.

43. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
- Boy: Aidan
- Girl: Nadia

I'm going to name my kids that. Because Aidan is Nadia spelled backwards.

44. How did you feel when you woke up?
- Sleepy! Haha.

45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
- Haha errr, not really?

46. Do you crack your knuckles?
- Yes, from time to time.

47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
- Watching Bride and Prejudice at Priya's.

48. What are your LEGAL initials?
- LWY.

49. Who's the first B in your contacts?
- Benjamin Ong.

50. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
- Some time last night, I think! Being with my friends always makes me smile.

51. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after him/her?
- Of course I do! I couldn't imagine life without her.

52. Last awkward moment?
- Haha errr a while back. I was at dinner with a friend in Singapore. He spat into my food. Silence.

53. Are you afraid of the dark?
- Nope. Though I can be, when I get freaked out by something or someone.

54. Do you have good vision?
- Not very. I wear glasses in school.

55. Have you ever tripped someone?
- Haha oh yes. Several times.

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
- ... I'll tell you about it if I know you well enough. And if it's necessary.

57. Are you Irish?
- My parents met in Ireland. Good enough for you?

58. Do you use chapstick?
- I use lip balm but no, not chapstick.

59. Do you have any scars?
- Yes. Metaphorical and literal.

60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
- Not that I can think of, really.

61. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments?
- I can, sometimes. Depends on whether the moments mattered.

62. Name the last person to text you?
- Sarah SC.

63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
- Haha not NOW. But maybe some time down the line.

64. Can you go in public looking like you do?
- NO! I AM NOT WEARING A HAIRBAND TO COVER MY RETARDED HAIRCUT! MUST NOT GO OUT IN PUBLIC WITHOUT HAIRBAND!

65. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
- Right side.

66. Is it easy for someone to make you smile?
- I don't get this question. It's easy to make me smile in general. However if you're assuming that there's a someone, no there is nobody.

67. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
- Get out of bed.

68. Do you fall for people easily?
- Not really. I think.

69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
- Yes. May Li and Jing Min, last night.

70. Do you miss the way things used to be?
- Sometimes. CamTrad I miss youuuuu.

71. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
- Again, more often than you think.

72. Song you're thinking of right now?
- Love Game, Lady Gaga.

73. Want someone back in your life?
- Haha not really.

74. Will tomorrow be better than today?
- Oh yes. Isn't it always? :]

75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?
- White. DIDN'T I SAY THIS JUST NOW?

76. Has anyone ever sung or played music for you personally?
- Nope. Wouldn't mind though.

77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
- Depends on the kind of lie and who told it?

78. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
- Married to ShuLin Chan? My wife doesn't understand our marriage either :P

79. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
- Au naturale!

80. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
- Everyone who looks at me falls in love with me immediately -shot- On a more serious note, not that I can think of? Oh wait I know. Chris Pine. :D

Haven't really been in the mood for updates. Tags will be answered every few days till blogging mood resumes.

On another note, I got a really retarded haircut. Now how the hell am I supposed to go as Haruhi for Cosfest? Someone (who shall go unnamed lest he finds out I want to murder him slowly) suggested hair-growing serum to inject into my scalp. I however have discovered the use of hairbands, and refuse to go in public without one... Though the yellow ribbon still looks really dumb on my head. Sigh.

Seven days for my hair to grow!!

Beary cute.

Today, I went hunting...

For a mascot for the SOBA famiglia.

(To those of you that do not know, you will never find out what the SOBA famiglia is. WHY? Because we are epic. Well, some of you know already but I consider those who do SOBA associates and affiliates. And SOBA is in no way supposed to be mistaken for soba, which is what Kanda Yu always eats and... Oh back to the post.)

Selecting a mascot for us was not an easy task. There were several pets that I considered:





Alas none were badass enough. There were also some pets that I immediately rejected:



Nevertheless, I was finally able to select a pet that was sufficiently badass for a badass family like ours. In fact, it was so badass, I had to keep it in its cage.

Nevertheless, it has now been trained, and we, the SOBA family, now have a mascot. Meet...

Sobear!

(Geddit? Soba... Sobear... Yeah.)

It was born on the 28th of June, 2009 and is 38 centimetres tall and 244 grams light. Its birth certificate states that it belongs to be, however I had to use just my name as a ruse so that we could smuggle something as badass as it back home.

Beware of its badass jacket, it might set you on fire.

And for those of you that are not in SOBA, I hope that the retardedness of this post did not scare you away. God I miss being this retarded with a group of people. When I'm being retarded alone people just give my funny looks. At least there is strength (or stupidity?) in numbers.

Jianing's coming back soon, and I can't wait! I am excited as anything. :] God I miss all of you. Sometimes I wonder, like most people in my situation would have, what would have happened if I hadn't transferred out? What would have happened if I had stayed where I was? And I keep thinking and thinking and thinking and...

Why the hell does it matter, we're still close as ever.