Back in black, orange, or some variant of the two.

The title says it all.

I'm back in Penang.

Home sweet home.

Post-trip reflection will come later when I'm done gushing about Left 4 Dead, how the only thing I can do well is shoot teammates and the ninety-two times Joey Ng had to save me from the stupid Hunter and Smoker AND the Witch.

Beary cute.

Today, I went hunting...

For a mascot for the SOBA famiglia.

(To those of you that do not know, you will never find out what the SOBA famiglia is. WHY? Because we are epic. Well, some of you know already but I consider those who do SOBA associates and affiliates. And SOBA is in no way supposed to be mistaken for soba, which is what Kanda Yu always eats and... Oh back to the post.)

Selecting a mascot for us was not an easy task. There were several pets that I considered:





Alas none were badass enough. There were also some pets that I immediately rejected:



Nevertheless, I was finally able to select a pet that was sufficiently badass for a badass family like ours. In fact, it was so badass, I had to keep it in its cage.

Nevertheless, it has now been trained, and we, the SOBA family, now have a mascot. Meet...

Sobear!

(Geddit? Soba... Sobear... Yeah.)

It was born on the 28th of June, 2009 and is 38 centimetres tall and 244 grams light. Its birth certificate states that it belongs to be, however I had to use just my name as a ruse so that we could smuggle something as badass as it back home.

Beware of its badass jacket, it might set you on fire.

And for those of you that are not in SOBA, I hope that the retardedness of this post did not scare you away. God I miss being this retarded with a group of people. When I'm being retarded alone people just give my funny looks. At least there is strength (or stupidity?) in numbers.

Jianing's coming back soon, and I can't wait! I am excited as anything. :] God I miss all of you. Sometimes I wonder, like most people in my situation would have, what would have happened if I hadn't transferred out? What would have happened if I had stayed where I was? And I keep thinking and thinking and thinking and...

Why the hell does it matter, we're still close as ever.

In place of the rant that was supposed to be here.

To be very frank, I am not by nature a nice person. Only by nurture am I a sweet and caring girl.

And sometimes I get tired of having to be tactful, having to take care of peoples' feelings, having to be all oh it's okay never mind I'm not angry when all I wanted to do was blow up in someone's face.

Maybe it's something to do with the fact that it takes a lot for me to trust a lot of you.

Because what if I want my pride too? What if I'm too afraid to admit to myself that things affect me more than I wish they would... And that I'm just a sad and vulnerable kid deep down?

It was an innocent mistake and I will not elaborate on it any further; if you're one of the people involved please come to me and I will tell you my side of the story. If you aren't, please do not approach me about this- unless you're one of the people who know that I will share this anecdote with. You know who you are, you know who I can say these things to.

Yes, person involved, this is an apology: please take it as such. It is a sincere apology that comes from the bottom of my heart, and I hope for your forgiveness. I'd like it to end here now, but then again, whether it ends or not would totally and wholly depend on whether you forgive me and whether you can actually take it in you to trust me again.

As I said, no ill intentions were involved, and it is up to you as to whether I am to believed.

Art.

I'm not an artist. I've never been an artist.

I tried drawing once; I was fourteen, competitive, and wanted to be talented in some way or other. But now I've learned. I can't paint to save my life, don't know the difference between chrome and ocher, and my attempts at drawing a straight line in Paint resulted in a bunch of squiggles that looked nothing like what I initially intended them to be.

Yet every time I pass by this art store in Singapore, I always feel this irresistible tug. I walk in and smell the turpentine, touch the woods, test the pencils and play with the scissors. I understand why this place, like many other art stores around the world, might seem like heaven to the gifted few- stepping into an art store is stepping into a land of creation, a land of tools and machines designed to make one person's dream come true.

The copic section is my favourite. When I glance across at the copic markers, there isn't just "orange", there's coral and chrome orange and all sorts of other lights and darks, all sorts of tones that call out to me. There are times where I think of buying copics, just so I can see them every day just so I would have an excuse to toy with light, toy with the different shades of the rainbow. I realize it would be futile: they would just lie there, unneeded, taken from their purpose of existence and serving as mere ornaments for the amused. After all, in the midst of exchange rates and economical crises, I can't just spend money like this.

So I never do.

What would be the point, anyway?

But I like art stores. It's nice sometimes to walk into a place, know you would never really want anything in it, and stare without being judged or recieving looks that warn you to leave.

Takashimaya is worth visiting for three reasons. Kinokuniya, Mos burger, and the little art shops. In the midst of the brand names and the high-end department store, it's nice to step back and look at more creative, less plastic, and simple.

Fuel for the soul. What would the artist do without art, after all? What would I do without books?

What would we do if our means of escape was snatched away in front of our eyes?

Can you keep a secret?

Since I'm sure people want to know some gossip about me- fine, not really, but whatever. Forty secrets. Or not-so-secrets. Enjoy.

1.) Have you ever been asked out?
Haven't we all? "Eh, want to go to Gurney tomorrow ar?"

2.) Where was your default picture taken?
The Facebook one? Ichibanzai '09 <3

3.) What's your middle name?
None.

4.) Your current relationship status?
Married to ShuLin Chan

5.) Does your crush like you back?
If I crushed something it would be dead.

6.) What is your current mood?
Happy because someone will play Quelf with me! :D

7.) What color of underwear are you wearing?
I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR TODAYYYY- kidding. Blue.

8.) What color shirt are you wearing?
White with a pink guitar and blue sploshes.

9.) Missing something?
Sanity.

10.) If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?
Make it so that I knew all the answers for my IB exams.

11.) If you must be an animal for one day, what?
A jellyfish :D Swimming in the sea.

12.) Ever had a near death experience?
Almost choked on a piece of lamb when I was 11. I bet you wish I had.

13.) Something you do a lot?
Breathe.

14.) The song stuck in your head?
Self-Inflicted by Katy Perry.

15.) Who did you copy and paste this from?
Dante Margera.

16.) Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Allie Polari from CamTrad.

17.) When was the last time you cried?
I have no idea, really. I don't log these things.

18.) Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
... As one of the mice in Cinderella. UGH.

19.) If you could have one super power what would it be?
To be able to know all the answers in exams.

20.) What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
That they have two eyes one nose and one mouth.

21.) What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Mango Tea Frappucino thing or a mocha.

22.) What's your biggest secret?
I am an orange gummy bear.

23.) Favorite color?
I like orange.

24.) Do you still watch kiddie movies or tv shows?
Spongebob is your daddy.

25.) What's on your walls?
Wall-spam battles.

26.) What are you?
Orange gummy bear :D

27.) Do you speak any other language?
Chinese, Malay, WeiYun-ese, Gooben Shmoogen.

28.) What's your favorite smell?
Frying garlic.

29.) Describe your life in one word.
Random.

30.) Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Nope.

31.) What are you thinking about right now?
How to get a copy of Quelf. I have now recruited two potential players :D

33.) What should you be doing?
Figuring how to not have to add my aunt on Facebook.

34.) Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
No idea really. I'm happy right now.

35.) How often do u talk to God?
I talk to myself all the time.

36.) Do you like working in the yard?
I like it when the yard works for me.

37.) If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
Lim.

38.) Do you act differently around the person you like?
I like all my friends :D

39.) What is your natural hair color?
Black.

40.) Who was the last person to make you cry?
I don't remember. Has this been asked before?

... NONE OF THESE ARE REAL SECRETS.

Oh well it is what you will have to be content with.

Love.

SOMEONE WROTE ME A LOVE POEM TODAY.

I am not even kidding.

I mean, it was kind of unexpected, I guess... I'm not sure I'm really even good enough for the person. It's not every day that an amazing writer, an amazing smart person, someone that's good at everything... I suppose it's not easy to be loved.

I mean. I'm not used to being loved. It's kind of foreign to me. Romance, after all, has never been my strong suit- I've always been watching drama go by, not been in the centre of it, doomed to play a member of the supporting cast for as long as I lived. And I supposed that might have been a good thing?

But no. I'll post the poem now. For all of you to contemplate...

Thank you my newest affair,

RACHEL FONG YEE HSIEN.

how do i think thee awesome ?
let me count the ways?
the way you tell me my hair looks like a pile of hay
the way you make me run out of words to say
and that's because you hold me shocked, most of the time
oh sweet lime
is what i would call you dear
except that i fear
uve already been taken by orange
and a fact thats strange
but i must confess
at the end of the day
its the way you make me say
'I'm awesome!'
that makes me think thee awesome
may our days together always be this troublesome

P.S: How many of you thought it was seriously from a guy?

Explaining Crossplay to Dummies for Dummies

Last night, my cousin had a dinner at his house, in which he invited his debater friends to come over and eat pizza and Chinese noodles... Only we had to sit at the table for hours at a time, the courses came out one by one, and by the end of it I was just dying to go on the internet and wall-spam someone or other on Facebook. It wasn't that the people were boring, really.

After all, the dinner did spawn one gem. My aunt mentioned that I was going to CosFest in a futile attempt to include me in the conversation- for those of you that don't know, when I'm with a group of people that all know each other, I'm very quiet if I don't know at least two or three of them. This is the most talking I did throughout the entire dinner. Hard to believe, I know, but:

TOPIC: WHAT IS CROSSPLAY?

Ben: So what's crossplay?
Me: Oh! That's when a girl dresses up as a guy character and when a guy dresses up as a girl character. Basically it looks a lot better most of the time when girls do it because guys tend to look funny in girl outfits, and a lot of anime guys are kinda pretty so yeah. Anyway can you imagine someone like RJ in a skirt? I don't want t-
-Everyone is staring at me in a funny funny manner-
Ben: 0_o IS THAT WHAT CROSSPLAY IS?
Me: :D :D YEAH. Haha. It's kind of weird but common, and-
Ms. C: ... You sure?
Me: He asked about crossplay! So anyway-

At which point, Ms. C is like, "He was talking about COSPLAY."

And I commit mental harakiri.

EDIT: If a cosplayer -cough- LUO YI -cough- crossplays as General Cross, does that make her a Cross crossplayer? Or does that make her a crossplaying Cross?

EDIT 2: If Crossburn crossplays... What does that make him?

Singapore!

Well, this is something not many of you know about but, well, I'm in Singapore right now! Yeah, I know the trip was kind of sudden, but let's just say that I decided to pull something completely bitchy and evil, which was reschedule a trip to Singapore that was originally supposed to be from the 20th to the 24th of June to being from the 18th to the 30th. Just because I was feeling bad.

Admittedly, I hadn't booked tickets yet so there was no worry about flight costs. I'm staying with my aunt so accommodation costs aren't a problem, and my family is really close so there's no argument about troubling people, but well, changing trip details just because I felt depressed? That sounds like something from some rich bitch novel. And I suppose that is the most "spoiled-brat" thing I've ever done. I feel kind of bad now, but let's just say there are reasons I don't want to be in Penang, reasons that most of you would never guess. Escape, for one. Time to think, for another.

And I said that I would stop whining so I shall stop here now.

On another note, Singapore has been good so far. Yesterday I went out and walked around Takashimaya on two hours of sleep. Do you know how long two hours is? Two hours is not one hour. Two hours is very very short. Two hours is what some people manage every day but if I get less than five hours of sleep a day I go cranky. And since I didn't go back to my aunt's house I didn't get to nap, so I was kind of tired and sleepy and running around looking at overpriced things that I knew I could never own and wondering why in the world anyone would fork out a thousand SINGAPOREAN dollars for a shirt. A freaking tank top that I wouldn't have paid fifty RINGGIT for, and was not even orange.

I got kind of bored halfway through staring at clothes so I decided to go down to the food floor and eat free samples, pretend that I was thinking of buying it then running away being the evil little girl that I am. Karma is going to come after me after all the evil shit I have been doing lately like changing trip days and eating free samples and for thinking too much about certain stuff. After eating all the free samples I could, I then went up to the top floor to look at software and computers, and used Facebook on the iMac they were showcasing to talk to Sara and Sarah who I have been talking to unlike the rest of my school friends who were on a desert TROPICAL island called Perhentians. Looking at all the Playstation games and the things like that reminded me of how privileged and deprived Singaporean kids are because they have all this cool technology that we didn't have when we were young, but they can't get the games pirated like we can. Also it reminded me of how I want more games to play, but never mind.

Oh and I had a deep-fried Mars bar at night when my uncle Madam Baby took me out for din dins :] It was heaven personified but also heart disease in tangible edible form. Err, it makes you die of heart disease and go to heaven? Yes I suppose it might make sense that way. Then I went to walk around the shopping mall which was like La-La land though I saw some nice gothic stuff that I probably would never need but I liked, and some nice other stuff. Jianing was saying she wanted girly, so I shall show her girly when we get there. Fun fun! Plus I think she'd want to see Haru's for herself.

Today I saw Cheryl, who hugged Ephraim before me even though she saw me four hours before she saw him. Also I was told (by Ephraim) that I had tacky fashion sense and that I looked and acted like I was sixteen years old. Later I came home and Cheng Yee told me I looked and acted like a sixteen-year-old. I don't know how to react. Either I look young, or I am immature. I think it is the latter because I am an immature brat.

However the best bit of today was the two dollar store in which I bought some epic items such as a nerdy Japanese headband that I shall wear when gaming or studying or doing anything remotely competitive from now on:


Cheryl on the other hand bought some funny eye thingy for two dollars like the kind of thing Prudy McPrudy owns:


Yes it has a face. I think it looks cute. We also tried to put a plastic bag on her head but I shall not post that picture because it was a plastic bag on her head and besides I want to draw a smiley onto it before I post it and I cannot be bothered to load a funny picture program at the moment.

After shopping I went to go LAN gaming for the first time in my life. I played L4D which was fun, but I kept dying because I fail. I blame the fact that I lacked the courage to wear the nerdy Japanese headband for my failure because I did not receive any of its awesome aura. Greg kept blaming Ephraim though which was funny. Poor kid, I blame his fail at gaming on myself because he was probably traumatized when I was like HEY IF YOU NEED A SEME I WILL BE VERY WILLING in the middle of the road. Hopefully he realized I was kidding, because I only seme when I want to seme. Also I only seme my friends. And for those of you who do not know what the word seme means you do not want to know, but I do it in a metaphorical not physical sense.

Lastly. For the anime fans:


I know I'm not as awesome as she is, but do you think there's a chance I could pull her off? Because I really want to cosplay an FMA character. I can't do Roy Mustang because contrary to what a certain Chris Cannon believes I am too female. I can't do Edward because I'm too tall. I can't do Al because I'm too short. (though I may be able to do human!Al) And I cannot do Lust or Sloth or any of the Seven Sins except maybe Gluttony because I do not believe in excess cleavage.

They're selling the costume in Haru's. I have birthday money. Should I...?

Tea for Three

So, while the rest of The Crew were off at Perhentians and Priya was supposed to be studying for ISAT, Sara, Sarah and I decided that we'd meet for tea last Wednesday. Originally we were thinking E & O but decided against it since we aren't rich enough, Sarah needed to be in Gurney, I couldn't spend too much time there since I was busy, and because of their usage of tea bags.

Which, according to some posh British blogger who Sara pointed out to us, is apparently a henious crime that will result in the end of the world.

I was only kidding about the end of the world bit.

Anyway! We came to a consensus about where we were going to go to eat afternoon tea. While Sarah hunted around Gurney Plaza for rocket (the vegetable not the spaceship missile kind) around 2:30, the lovely Sara came and picked me up and took me to..


It was warm and cozy :] Like the bolster I forgot to bring to Singapore.

So anyway the three of us sat down and Sara wanted to order potato bake and I was thinking, well, how in the world is she going to eat the potato bake if we're already having such a big afternoon tea after lunch? So I managed to convince her not to. Instead, we ordered Darjeeling black tea and a drink called Midnight Kiss because I liked the name and I thought it would help me be ninja since I wasn't supposed to be on the ground floor at 3 in the afternoon.


I liked it because it came in a small cute cup.

Because no outing is complete without a funny Sara Loh picture. Sara is licking Midnight Kiss.

Sarah, being Sarah, ordered a fruit salad and an Americano. I then asked her to flap her arms, and she obliged-

Her fruit salad came and it really wasn't very good, so Sarah proceeded to eat her own apples and pears like she usually does. It's amazing how she manages to eat so many fruit and not turn green or red. If she turned green she would be an alien, and I would be happy because then there would be an explanation for her extraordinary behaviours such as running and studying: not at the same time. So would Sara because Sarah would be green.

If she ate more oranges she would turn orange. I think I'm the only person that wants that for the moment. But never mind, I shall spread propaganda. Meanwhile Sara was staring at photos of her cheese baked potato thingy and kept saying she wanted it, and I was like... yeah you're never going to be able to finish it.

Then the cakes and stuff arrived in a pretty pretty bowl... plate... tier... small building.... thing.

Shut up, I know my vocabulary has gone downhill.

Anyway despite the overall prettiness, the food was okay-ish. I kind of liked the cakes but didn't want to finish them all because I was full and didn't want to force myself, and Sara refused to eat sponge cake. Sarah of course was munching on her 99th pear of the day, or drinking her Americano coffee with extra shots and less water. Who drinks coffee in a tea house?

Only Sarah Ch'ng. For she is just that epic awesome. Oh, meanwhile Sara started talking about ordering her potato bake and I was thinking, well she can order it, I'll try a bit but I don't think that she's going to be able to finish, after all we had lunch already and I'm pretty stuffed. After about a million years this arrived in all its potato-ey and cheesy glory.

Yes the potato bake. Fear it. It's actually pretty good though I was too stuffed to appreciate it fully. Sara meanwhile was devouring it and I was thinking, oh, she won't be this hungry in a short while, we'll probably have to pack it and take it back to her home. She can have it for breakfast and- HOLYSHITDIDSHEJUSTFINISHIT?!

Sara as always looked totally innocent as she nommed the last bits of her food down then toyed with her milk that was actual milk and not creamer. Maybe she works magic on us but I have no idea how she always looks like that. Then Sarah decided to buy two RM 30 teacups and two RM 30 saucers- well actually they cost RM 15 each but the extra money was paying for the satisfaction of her mother's heart. At least that's what I kept reiterating as she decided to buy this:

There was another one but frankly the other one had freaking chickens on it (maybe those chickens ended up in Sara's potato bake and got devoured) and was a tad dark. And besides this one had an orangey hue to it and was pretty. Seriously, guys. How can you resist anything that has an orangey hue to it and is pretty?

Oh, and Priya, once you finish ISAT you can say I Sat for ISAT :D

Ahemmm.

HELLO.

Some of you may have noticed that this is a new blog for me, and that I've changed blog title more than just a few times. Some of you might have noticed that my URL does not have the word orange in it, which is a miracle. Some of you might also have noticed that I seem to have disappeared from my old blog. Well, here's the announcement. My old blog is dead. Along with all the emo-ness that was inside it. Yay!

... Yes those are crickets chirping. Where's my applause?

But anyway, this is a new blog for me? In a way it also symbolizes a new start- I'm eighteen, I'm epic, it's time for me to kick off my shoes and enjoy life before I jump into the real world. I'm not the best of writers or the best of bloggers, but I'm going to set some resolutions:

1) I will whine less. Because other people have better things to do than listen to about how I'm depressed because the sky wasn't orange enough when I woke up in the morning.

2) I will post more about things that my friends would find interesting instead of using my blog as a rant-space.

3) This blog will be reader-friendly! Which means that I will be able to give this URL to my random acquaintances and not feel embarrassed about it. If I post writing or whatever, I shall be proud.

4) jshakdfdas[fds;;;;;. See this line? Well I resolve to use it less because it is impossible to read.

That is about all for the moment. I shall add links and stuff later on when I feel like adding links and stuff. Also I shall leave comments open as well as a chatbox so that people can spam me, albeit nicely, a la Darren style. Oh I love stealing lines off my Goony friend :]